Monday, October 17, 2011

The Book of the Foundations - Chapter 31 - St. Teresa of Avila - Teresa of Jesus

     The Book of the Foundations
              of S. Teresa of Jesus 
 of the Order of our Lady of Carmel  
          CHAPTER 31       XXXI


        Chapter 31     Contents
  In this Chapter the Foundation 
     of The Glorious S. Joseph 
     of S. Anne 
  In the City of Burgos is Begun. 
  The First Mass is Said 19 April 1582,          [1]  
    Octave of the Feast of the Resurrection 
    1. Don Alvaro de Mendoza. — 
    2. Delivers the pallium to 
        the archbishop of Burgos. — 
    3. Our Lord warned the Saint 
           of coming troubles. — 
    4. The Saint encouraged 
           supernaturally. — 
    5. Delay about Burgos. — 
    6. The archbishop delays. — 
    7. Catalina de Tolosa. — 
    8. Preparations made for Burgos. — 
    9. Dona Catalina obtains the consent 
          of the city of Burgos. — 
 10. The Saint's hesitation. — 
 11. Our Lord bids her go. — 
 12. Other difficulties. — 
 13. The provincial warns her 
          of troubles. — 
 14. The Saint sets out for Burgos. — 
 15. Difficulties of the road. — 
 16. From Palencia to Burgos. — 
 17. Fray Jerome. — 
 18. Arrival in Burgos.                             ^
 19. The Saint ill. — 
 20. The archbishop makes objections. — 
 21. And refuses permission for Mass 
          to be said in the house. — 
 22. Hardships borne by the nuns. — 
 23. More difficulties. — 
 24. The provincial discouraged. — 
 25. Our Lord encourages the Saint. — 
 26. The nuns lodged in the hospital. — 
 27. Services of Catalina de Tolosa. — 
 28. Her troubles. — 
 29. The provincial leaves Burgos. — 
 30.  Difficulties in finding a house. — 
 31. A house found. — 
 32. Treaty for it. — 
 33. It is bought. — 
 34. The sale attacked. — 
 35. Surprise of Burgos. — 
 36. The archbishop still refuses 
            his sanction. — 
 37.  More shifts of the archbishop. — 
 38. Generosity of Catalina de Tolosa. — 
 39. The saint applies for help 
             to the bishop of Palencia. — 
 40. The archbishop yields at last. — 
 41 . The monastery founded. — 
 42. Blessedness of a cloistered life. — 
 43. The Saint gives up the endowment. — 
 44. Her confidence. — 
 45. Reconciliation of  the two bishops. — 
 46. Transfer of the jurisdiction 
          of the monastery in Avila. — 
 47. Recommended by the bishop 
          of Osma.—
 48. Consent of the bishop 
          and of the nuns.—  



    See Foot Notes for Chapter 31 
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          CHAPTER 31

May He be praised and blessed 
    for ever and for evermore ! 
Amen.   Deo gratias. 
1. Don Alvaro de Mendoza.  
1
More than six years ago 
  certain members of the Society of Jesus,  
        men of 
           great godliness, 
           learning, and spirituality, and 
           long professed, 
   said to me 
     that it would be a great service rendered
         to our Lord 
    if a house of  this holy order 
          were founded in Burgos
They gave me some reasons 
    in favour of it 
which moved me to wish for it. 
The troubles 
     of the order, and
     of the other foundations, 
   left me no opportunity of making it. 
When I was in Valladolid in the year 1580,
    the archbishop of Burgos                        [2]
       ( Don Christobal Vela )
            — the archbishopric had then 
                 been given him — 
    came that way; 
   he had before 
      been Bishop of the Canaries, 
   and was then going to take possession. 
I have already spoken 
     of the bishop of Palencia, 
          Don Alvaro de Mendoza
   who has greatly befriended the order; 
   he was the first to accept the monastery 
         of S. Joseph in Avila, 
   where he was bishop, 
      and ever since he has rendered us 
           many a service, 
      regarding the affairs of the order 
           as his own, 
       especially those 
           which I commended to him.
 I begged him to ask the archbishop 
    to allow us to make 
        a foundation in Burgos, 
    and he most readily promised to ask, 
    for, as he thinks 
          our Lord is greatly honoured 
              in these houses, 
    he rejoices much 
          whenever a house is founded. 
    2. Delivers the pallium to 
        the archbishop of Burgos.  
2
The archbishop would not enter Valladolid, 
 but took up his lodging 
     in the monastery of S. Jerome 
  where the Bishop of Palencia
        entertained him sumptuously, 
       went to dine with him, 
        and to give him a girdle, 
                or 
       do some ceremony or other 
          which was to make him bishop.      [3]
He then asked permission for me 
    to found the monastery. 
The archbishop said 
    he would give it with pleasure; 
he had asked for one in the Canaries, 
  and had longed to have there 
       one of these monasteries, 
because he knew 
   how much our Lord is served in them, 
for he came from a place 
  where one had been built, 
and was well acquainted  with me.           [4]
Accordingly the bishop told me 
   not to wait for the license, 
     - for the archbishop was very glad 
             to have the monastery; 
                   and 
    - as the council  does not say                 [5]
         that the license is to be in writing, 
        but only that the bishop's consent 
             is to be had, 
   the license might be taken for granted. 
    3. Our Lord warned the Saint 
           of coming troubles. — 
3.
 I have spoken 
   of the great unwillingness I had             [6]
        to make any more foundations 
   when I was to make one before in Palencia, 
   for I had been very ill, 
   so that it was thought I could not live, 
    and even then I was not well. 
Illnesses, however, 
    do not usually oppress me so much 
 when I see 
    that what I have to do 
        is for the service of  God
    and so I do not know 
       whence came such unwillingness 
    as I felt then.
 It could not have come 
    from my scanty means, 
for I had less
   when making other foundations. 
I believe it came from Satan, 
    now that I see the results: 
and so it has usually been, 
for whenever I have any trouble 
    in making a foundation 
our Lord, knowing my misery, 
   always helps me by words and deeds
I have sometimes thought 
    that in certain foundations, 
about which I had no trouble, 
   His Majesty never warned me at all. 
It has been so in this, 
for, as He knew 
     what I had to bear, 
He began to encourage me 
      from the very first. 
All praise be unto Him ! 

    4. The Saint encouraged 
           supernaturally. — 
4
It was so here, 
    as in the foundation of Palencia, 
           already told
             — for the two foundations 
                  were arranged 
                   at the same time — 
  He asked me, 
      as it were reproaching me, 

         'What was I afraid of? '
          Had He ever failed me?                 
         'I am the same:
          Fail not to make
               these two foundations.'              [7]
As I said, 
    when giving an account of 
         the former foundation, 
 what courage these words gave me, 

 there is no reason 
   why I should say it over again here. 
All sloth departed from me at once, 
and that makes me think 
  that the cause of it was 
         neither my illness 
         nor my old age, 
  and so I began at once 
      to make arrangements 
          for both foundations, 
   as I said before. 
It was thought better to make 
        the foundation of Palencia first, 
   because it was nearer, and 
   because the weather was so severe
              and 
        Burgos so cold, 
          and also 
   because it would please the 
          good bishop of Palencia: 
it was therefore done, 
   as I said before. 
    5. Delay about Burgos.  
5
But when I was staying in Palencia
    the foundation of Soria was offered, 
and I thought that, 
    as everything was settled in Palencia,
 it would be best to go thither first, 
     and thence to Burgos.                            [8]
The bishop of Palencia thought it right, 
      and I begged him to do so, 
to give the archbishop an account 
        of what was going on; 
and so after I had gone to Soria
    he sent the Canon Juan Alonso           [9]
 to the archbishop on that business alone. 
The archbishop, 
    in a letter to me, 
          said with great affection 
   - that he desired my coming; 
          made arrangements with the canon 
                  and 
         wrote to the bishop, 
          putting himself in his hands  
  - that he was influenced 
          by his knowledge of Burgos 
          in what he did; 
  - that I must come in 
         with the consent of the town; 
in short, the conclusion was 
 that I was to go and treat, 
        in the first place, 
    with the city, 
and 
if it refused permission, 
      his hands could not be tied, 
      nor himself  hindered, 
   from giving it; 
- that he was present 
  when the first monastery was founded  
         in Avila, 
     and remembered the great trouble 
         and opposition I had to bear; 
- that he wished in this way
     to guard against the same thing here; 
- that it would not be right 
     to found the monastery 
   unless with an endowment, 
   or with the consent of the city 
           — a condition I did not like, 
    and therefore he spoke of it. 
    6. The archbishop delays.  
6
When the archbishop said I was 
     to go thither 
the bishop looked on the affair as settled, 
     and with reason; 
so he sent me word 
    that we were to go. 
But to me 
   there seemed a want of courage 
in the archbishop, 
and I wrote to thank him 
   for his kindness to me, 
saying 
    that it would be worse 
       if the city refused its consent 
    than if we made the foundation 
        without saying anything about it, 
    because it would be bringing 
         more trouble on his Grace, 
I  think I saw beforehand 
   how little we could rely on him 
if any opposition were made 
   to my obtaining the license; 
and, besides, I looked on it 
   as a difficult matter 
on account of the contradictory opinions 
    usual on such occasions.                      [10]
I wrote to the bishop of Palencia 
   entreating him 
that, 
          as the summer was nearly over, 
                and 
          my infirmities such as to disable me
            from staying in so cold a climate, 
   the matter might rest for the present. 
He was hurt 
because the archbishop made 
         so many difficulties 
   after showing 
         such good dispositions before, 
and so I 
   said nothing of my suspicions, 
          to avoid causing disagreements 
                      — for they are friends — 
         and 
   went from Soria to Avila,
        very far from thinking at the time  
   that I should have to return so soon: 
my going to the house 
       of S. Joseph in Avila 
    was very necessary for many reasons.  [11]
    7. Catalina de Tolosa.  
7
There dwelt in the city of Burgos,
    a holy widow, 
    Catalina de Tolosa
     a Biscayan by birth, 
     of whose 
            goodness, penance, and prayer, 
            great alms-giving and charity, 
            good sense and courage,
    I could speak at great length. 
She had placed 
     two of her daughters 
         as nuns in the monastery 
            of our Lady of the Conception 
            in Valladolid 
         four years ago, I think — 
              and
     two others in Palencia.                         [12]
She waited till 
    that house was founded, 
and brought them thither 
    before I went away from that foundation. 
    8. Preparations made for Burgos. 
8
The four nuns have turned out 
    as the children of such a mother; 
    they are like angels. 
She gave them 
     a good dowry and 
     everything else most abundantly, 
for  she herself is very wealthy; 
in all her ways 
   she is most generous and can be so, 
for she is rich. 
When she came to Palencia,
   we considered the archbishop's consent 
            so certain 
that we did not think 
   there was any reason for delay, 
and so I asked her 
      - to find me a house we might hire 
             in order to take possession, 
      - to set up the grating and the turn, 
                 and 
      - put it to my account, 
  never thinking she would spend
      any money of her own, 
  but only that she would lend it to me. 
So earnestly did she desire this foundation
  that she felt very much 
     the putting it off at that time, 
  and so after my departure for Avila, 
        as I have just said, 
    having no thought whatever 
        of making the foundation then, 
    she gave herself no rest, 
     but, thinking there was nothing more 
          to be done 
     except getting the permission of the city, 
        (she) began to solicit it 
       without saying a word to me about it. 
    9. Dona Catalina obtains the consent 
          of the city of Burgos. 
9
She had two neighbours, 
       persons of importance, 
               and 
       very great servants of God, 
   who desired the foundation greatly 
          — a mother and her daughter. 
The mother, 
  Dona Maria Manrique
had a son who was a magistrate, 
  Don Alonso de Santo Domingo Manrique;
                                                                                  [13]
the daughter was called Dona Catalina
Those two ladies 
     discussed the matter with him 
that he might ask the consent 
    of the council of the city. 
He spoke to Catalina de Tolosa, 
  and asked her 
what he was to say 
   about our means of subsistence, 
for the council would not consent 
    if we had none. 
She replied that she would bind herself 
    — and so she did — 
    to give us a house if we wanted one, 
         and 
    maintain us, 
and thereupon presented a petition 
   signed with her name. 
Don Alonso managed the matter 
     so skillfully 
that he 
   - obtained leave from all the magistrates, 
   - went to the archbishop, and 
      showed him the permission in writing. 
Immediately after she entered 
    on the business 
she sent me word by letter 
  that she was arranging it. 
I looked on it as something not serious,

because I knew 
   what difficulties people make 
       about monasteries founded in poverty; 
             and 
    as I did not know, 
            and 
    as it had never entered into my mind, 
        that she had bound herself 
            as she had done, 
    I thought that much more was still 
        to be done. 
 10. The Saint's hesitation.  
10
However, one day 
   within the octave of Saint Martin, 
when I was commending the matter 
      to our Lord, 
  I considered what was to be done
     if the license were granted; 
for, as to my going myself to Burgos, 
  that I looked on as impossible 
because 
      - I was so ill, 
      - the place being so cold, 
            and 
      - cold being very bad for my illness;
      - it would be rash to undertake 
              so long a journey 
          when I had but just made 
              so difficult a journey 
          as was that from Soria,
              already mentioned;
     - besides, the Father Provincial 
          would not let me go.                      [14] 
I thought the prioress  of Palencia           [15]
   might do as well, 
for as everything was settled 
    there would be nothing for her to do. 
 11. Our Lord bids her go.  
11.
 While I was thinking thus, 
    and greatly bent on not going, 
our Lord spoke these words to me, 
   which showed me
 that permission had been given:    — 
   'Do not mind the cold: 
    I am the true warmth: 
    Satan is exerting all his strength 
         to hinder the foundation: 
    Do thou 
        exert thine on My behalf 
             that it may be made, 
                    and 
        go thyself without fail, 
    for the fruits of it will be great,' 
 Thereupon, I changed my mind: 
 Though nature sometimes rebels 
      when I have difficult things to do, 
my resolution to suffer for God, 
      who is so great, 
never wavers, 
and so, I ask Him 
    not to regard those feelings of weakness,
    but to bid me do 
        whatever is pleasing to Himself, 
for I shall not fail to do it 
    by the help of His grace. 
The snow was then on the ground, 
  but what most disheartened me 
       was my wretched health, 
   for had I been well, 
     I believe I should have thought
            nothing of the journey. 
It was my want of  health 
   that most frequently wearied me 
while making this foundation; 
the cold was nothing
      — at least, I did not feel it — 
    certainly not more, I think, 
    than I did in Toledo. 
What our Lord said to me 
   He amply fulfilled. 
 12. Other difficulties.  
12
There was a delay of a few days 
   in bringing me the license, 
with letters from 
            Catalina de Tolosa and her friend,
            Dona Catalina 
      pressing me to make haste; 
they feared some disaster, 
for the order of Minims                                [16]
     had come to make a foundation there, 
and the Carmelites of  the mitigation 
    also had been there for some time
       labouring for a like end. 
Afterwards came the monks of S. Basil    [17]
    which might have been a hindrance: 
It was 
  - a matter of  wonder 
       that so many came 
        at the same time with us, 
                and 
  - a reason also for giving  thanks to our Lord 
        for the great charity of the place, 
      seeing that the city gave its permission 
            most willingly, 
      though it was not now so prosperous 
           as it had been. 
I had always heard people praise
    the charitableness of the city, 
but I never thought it was so great. 
Some helped one order, some another; 
but the archbishop, 
   thinking of all the difficulties 
         that might arise, 
   forbade it, 
for he considered 
   that a new house would be a wrong 
        done to the orders founded in poverty, 
   in that they would not be able
      to maintain themselves
and perhaps 
these had applied to him themselves, 
      or 
it may be that the devil suggested it 
    in order to do away with the good 
which God works 
   wherever many monasteries are built, 
for He is able to maintain many 
    as easily as few
 13. The provincial warns her 
          of troubles.  
13.
This was the reason 
why those saintly ladies pressed me 
    so earnestly:
if I had had my will 
   I should have set out at once, 
but as it was, 
   I had matters to attend to, 
for I considered 
that I was more bound 
   not to miss an opportunity myself 
         than they were 
    whom I saw taking so much pains.
I understood by the words I had heard    [18]
   that there was much opposition 
      — from whom or whence 
               it was to come 
            I knew not, 
because Catalina de Tolosa 
     had already written to me to say 
  - that she had the house 
          in which she lived 
     secured for the purpose 
          of taking possession, 
  - that the city had consented, 
            and 
  - the archbishop also: 
I could not imagine 
   from whom this opposition was to come
 which the devils were to raise, 
yet for all this 
   I never doubted 
that the words I had heard 
   were the words of God. 
In short, 
    His Majesty gives to superiors 
       greater light, 
 for when I wrote to the Father Provincial 
       about my going, 
 because I knew I was to do so,
     he did not hinder me, 
     but he asked me if I had 
         the license of  the archbishop in writing.
I answered 
that they had written to me from Burgos
 saying 
  - that they had arranged with him,
  - that the consent of the city 
          had been asked and obtained, 
               and 
  - that the archbishop was satisfied with it: 
this, together with all he had said 
    about the matter, 
 seemed to leave no room for doubt. 
 14. The Saint sets out for Burgos.  
14
The Father Provincial would go with us   [19]
     to make the foundation, 
   - partly because 
         he was then to be at leisure, 
             for he had just finished preaching 
                      in Advent, and 
         had to so to Soria to make a visitation 
            — he had not seen that monastery 
                 since it was founded, 
                and it was not much 
                      out of his road — 
         and
  - partly that he might look 
           after my health on the journey, 
         because the weather was so severe 
            and I so old and sickly, 
                          and 
          because my life was thought
             to be of some importance. 
It was certainly a providence of God, 
   for the roads were in such a state 
         — deep under water — 
   that it was highly necessary 
      for him and his companions 
    to go on before to see 
      where we could pass, 
             and 
    to help to drag the carriages 
       out of the mud, 
    especially on the road 
        from Palencia to Burgos. 
It was an act of great hardihood for us 
   to set out from the former place 
when we did. 
 15. Difficulties of the road.  
15
The truth is, 
our Lord had said to me 
  that we might go on safely 
               — not to be afraid — 
for He would be with us. 
This, however, 
   I did not make known 
        to the Father Provincial, 
   but it was a comfort a
      amidst the great difficulties and dangers
          of the road, 
      especially in one spot near Burgos 
          called the Floating Bridges;
 there the waters had risen so high, 
    and for some time, 
that we could 
     not see the road 
     nor know where to go to: 
there was nothing but water, 
and on either side of us exceedingly deep. 
In short, 
it is an act of great rashness
    to travel that way, 
especially with carriages, 
   which if they swerved but a little 
        would be all lost, 
and accordingly 
    we saw one of them in danger. 
 16. From Palencia to Burgos.   
16
From a miserable inn on the road,
   we took a guide 
who knew the passage; 
it certainly was a very dangerous one. 
Then, the lodgings we found ! 
for it was impossible to make 
    the usual day's journey 
because of the state of the roads; 
the carriages continually sunk
    deep into the mire, 
and the mules had to be taken 
    out of  one carriage 
to drag out the other. 
The fathers 
         who were with us 
   had much to suffer, 
for we happened to have drivers 
   who were young and very careless. 
It was a great relief 
   that we were travelling 
       with the Father  Provincial, 
for he 
    - took care of everything, 
             and 
    - is of so even a temper 
        that all that happened seemed 
             not to trouble him at all, 
        and so he made light of that 
             which was great, 
        so that it seemed to be nothing
        — not so however, 
                     at the Floating Bridges, 
        for he was then not without fear, 
        for when I saw ourselves go 
                into a world of water 
             without a way or a boat,   
          notwithstanding the encouragement 
              of our Lord 
          I was not without fear myself: 
     What, then, 
          must my companions have felt ?    [20]
We were eight on the road:
    two were to return with me, 
    five to remain in Burgos
            — four choir and one lay sister. [21] 
 17. Fray Jerome.  
17.
 I do not think I have yet mentioned 
    the name of  the father provincial;        [22]
He is Fray Jerome Gratian 
          of  the Mother of God, 
   of whom I have spoken in other places. 
I was myself suffering 
   from a very severe sore throat, 
         which I caught 
               on the road to Valladolid, 
  nor had  the fever left me, 
and as the pain therefrom was great,
 it hindered me from feeling much  
     the incidents of the journey. 
I have that sore throat even now 
   at the end of  June,                              [23] 
and, though it is not nearly so sharp 
   as it was, 
it is still very painful. 
The nuns were all happy, 
  for once the danger passed 
    it was a pleasure to speak of it. 
It is a grand thing 
   to suffer under obedience, 
especially for those who live under it 
  so continually as these nuns do. 
 18. Arrival in Burgos.                              
18
We reached Burgos 
   by this dangerous road, 
       through the deep waters there 
   before the entrance of the city. 
Our father would have us go 
         first of all 
   to visit the Miraculous Crucifix,          [24]
   to recommend to Him our business, 
         and 
    wait there till night came on, 
        for it was still early. 
We arrived on 
        Friday, 26th January
    the day after the feast 
       of the Conversion of Saint Paul. 
Our intention was 
    to make the foundation at once, 
and I had with me many letters 
    from the Canon Salinas                     [25]
       — he is spoken of 
            in the history 
               of the foundation of Palencia, 
            where his labours in our behalf 
               were not less 
             than they were here — 
       and 
   from persons of consideration 
    urging 
          their relatives and others, their friends, 
      most earnestly to befriend us in our work: 
they did so, 
    for immediately, the next day, 
they came to see me, 
and in the city 
  they were not sorry for the promise 
        they had made, 
   but 
     - were glad  that I had come, 
            and 
     - I was to consider wherein 
         they could be of service to me. 
If we had any fears at all, 
  they arose from our doubts about the city,
now we found everything smooth; 
and before any could know of our coming 
        — for there was no going 
             to the house 
                of the good Catalina de Tolosa 
             in that very heavy rain — 
   we intended to inform the archbishop of it, 
     that we might have 
         the first Mass said at once, 
     as in almost all places; 
     but it was not done 
          on account of the weather. 
 19. The Saint ill.  
19
We rested that night in great comfort 
  furnished us by that saintly woman; 
nevertheless it brought suffering to me, 
  for there was a great fire made for us 
      to dry ourselves at, 
   which, though in a chimney, 
      did me so much harm 
   that I could not raise my head
      the next day; 
I had therefore to lie down 
   when speaking to those 
       who came to see me 
    through a window with a grating, 
        over which we drew a curtain;        [26]
and as it was a day 
  in which I was obliged 
       to settle many matters,
   it was very painful to me. 
Early in the morning 
 the Father Provincial went to his Grace
     to ask his blessing, 
for we thought that was all we had to do. 
He found him changed, 
  and angry at my coming 
        without his leave, 
   as if he had never sent for me 
      or meddled at all in the matter; 
and accordingly he spoke 
   to the Father Provincial 
       in great wrath against me. 
Then, 
  admitting that he had sent for me, 
he said he meant 
   I was to come alone 
        to arrange the affair with him; 
   but to come with so many nuns, 
   God deliver us from the annoyance
         it gave him ! 
To tell him 
    - that we had already arranged 
          with the city, 
            as he had asked us to do; 
    - that there was nothing more
          to be done 
              but to make the foundation ; 
                   and 
    - that the bishop of Palencia, 
          when I asked him 
              if I should do right in going 
                 [without informing his Grace]  [27]
              had told me
                 it was not necessary to do so, 
              because he wished the foundation 
                 to be made — 
  was all to no purpose whatever. 
The matter stood thus, 
    and 
God willed the foundation of the house, 
    and 
the archbishop, himself, said so afterwards, 
   for if we had plainly told him 
   (that)  we were coming 
        he would have forbidden us to come. 
Thereupon, 
   he dismissed the Father Provincial, 
telling him 
    that unless we 
          - were endowed and 
          - had a house of our own 
      he never would give his consent: 
      we might as well return: 
       the roads were so good and
       the weather so fine ! 
 20. The archbishop makes objections. 
20
O my Lord, how true it is 
 that he 
        who shall render Thee a service 
  is immediately rewarded by a great cross! 
And what a priceless reward it is 
  if they who truly love Thee,
     only knew its value at the time ! 
But we did not then desire the reward,
    because it seemed 
to make the foundation altogether impossible, 
for the archbishop said besides, 
that 
           the endowment and 
           the house we were to buy 
     were not to be taken out of any dowry
        the nuns might bring with them. 
Then, 
     as we were not thinking of that
         in times like the present, 
   it became clear enough 
         that we were helpless: 
 Not so to me, however, 
for I always felt assured
   -  that all this was for the best 
         — a plot of Satan 
               to hinder the foundation — 
                          and
  -  that God would prosper His work. 
Herewith came away the Provincial
     very joyous, 
for he was not troubled in the least at it: 
God so ordained it 
   that he might not be vexed with me 
because I had not obtained the license 
   in writing, 
as he had told me to do.                           [28]
 21. And refuses permission for Mass 
          to be said in the house. 
21
There were then with me 
    some of the friends 
  to whom the Canon Salinas had written, 
     as I said before; 
and they resolved, 
    his kinsmen agreeing with them, 
that the archbishop should be asked 
   to give permission 
for the celebration of Mass in the house, 
   that we might not have to go 
       out into the streets, 
           which were very dirty: 
       it was not seemly 
             that we should go out, 
       being  barefooted. 
There was a suitable room in the house 
   which had been 
       the church of the Society of Jesus 
    when they came to Burgos, 
            and 
     which they used for more than ten n years; 
 we therefore saw nothing unseemly 
   in taking possession there 
till we had a house of our own. 
We were never able to persuade him 
  to let us hear  Mass therein, 
though two canons went to him
  to beg for leave. 
All that we got from him was, 
   that an endowment being assured 
       the foundation might be made there
   till we bought a house, 
       and 
    to obtain this 
           we were to give security 
                for the purchase of a house, 
                          and 
           we were not to leave the place 
               we were in. 
 22. Hardships borne by the nuns.  
22
The sureties we found at once, 
  for the friends of the canon Salinas 
       offered themselves, 
            and 
   Catalina de Tolosa offered an endowment. 
Meanwhile, in discussing 
       how much it was to be, 
                     and
       in what way it was to be secured, 
  more than three weeks must have gone by, 
and 
we not hearing Mass 
          except on holy days 
          very early in the morning, 
    myself in a fever and very ill. 
Catalina de Tolosa, however, 
   was so kind to us, 
             and 
    took such care of  me, 
             and 
   fed us the whole of that month 
      as cheerfully as if she had been
             the mother of every one of us,
      in a part of the house 
             where we lived by ourselves. 
The Father Provincial and his companions 
   were lodged in the house 
         of a friend of his                            [29]
        — they had been at college together — 
  
   The Doctor Manso,                             [30]
       canon-preacher in the cathedral
    he was excessively harassed 
       by his detention there so long, 
               and 
    yet could not see his way to leave us. 
 23. More difficulties.  
23
When the sureties had been found 
    and the endowment settled, 
 the archbishop told us 
   to give the papers to the vicar-general, 
        and then 
  everything would be settled immediately. 
Satan 
               — it must have been so — 
   did not fail to run to him also, 
for after along consideration of the matter,
  when we were thinking
       that there could be no grounds 
           for further delay, 
                       and 
  when a month had been spent 
      in persuading the archbishop  
         to be pleased with what we were doing,  
 the vicar-general sent me a note 
   in which he said 
  - that the license would not be granted 
         till we had a house of our own; 
  - that the archbishop now did not like us 
       to make the foundation 
               in the house  we were staying in,    
    because 
       it was damp 
            and 
       in a street that was very noisy; 
            and then, 
   - as for the security of the endowment, 
      I know not 
      what difficulties and objections he made, 
         as if the matter were then discussed
            for the first time;
   - that there must be no further debate, 
            and 
   - the archbishop must be pleased 
         with the house. 
 24. The Provincial discouraged.  
24
When the Father Provincial heard of it 
  he was greatly moved 
           — so were we all — 
 for plainly much time is necessary 
    for buying a place for a monastery;
 it distressed him to see us 
     go out of the house for mass, 
for though 
     the church was not far off, 
          and 
     we heard it in a chapel therein 
           unseen of all, 
yet for the Father Provincial and ourselves 
    it was a very great burden. 
Then it was, I think, 
   he made up his mind 
that we must go away. 
I could not bear to do that: 
When I remembered 
   what our Lord had said to me,            [31]
that I was to make this foundation for Him, 
   I was so confident it would be made 
that scarcely anything vexed me; 
but I 
     was in distress 
            about the Father Provincial, 
              and 
     was very sorry 
            he had come with us, 
 not knowing at the time 
    how much his friends were to do for us, 
          as I shall tell by and by. 
 25. Our Lord encourages the Saint. 
25
When I was in this distress, 
    which pressed heavily 
           on my companions also, 
      though I did not concern myself 
           about them, 
      but only about the Provincial, 
   our Lord 
                 —  I was not in prayer — 
      said to me these words,                    [32]
          ' Now, Teresa, be strong . '
  Thereupon with great earnestness,
     I begged the Father Provincial
            to go away and leave us. 
And His Majesty must have brought him 
    to this, 
for Lent was nigh at hand, 
and he was obliged to go and preach.        [33] 
 26. The nuns lodged in the hospital. 
26
He and his friends contrived
    to have rooms assigned us 
        in the hospital of the Conception;    [34] 
   the Most Holy Sacrament was there, 
                and 
   Mass was said every day. 
This gave him some pleasure, 
but he had not a little to go through 
   in getting it for us, 
   for the one good room there 
      had been taken by a widow in the town, 
   who 
      not only would not lend it to us, 
          though she was not going into it 
              for the next half-year, 
      but was angry 
         because they had given us 
             certain rooms in the upper part 
                of the hospital under the roof, 
             one of them forming a passage
                into her room. 
     She was not satisfied 
         with locking it 
          on the outside, 
      but must have bars put across it 
          on the inside.
 Besides, the brethren thought 
    we were to make the hospital our own 
          — an impracticable imagination, 
    but God would have us merit more thereby; 
they made us promise, 
        the Father Provincial and myself, 
               before a notary, 
   that we would, 
        on being told to quit the place, 
              do so at once. 
This was the hardest thing for me, 
   for I was afraid 
  (that) the widow, 
   who 
              was wealthy 
                    and 
              had relatives there, 
      would, 
             whenever she took a fancy to do so,
          compel us to go away. 
The Father Provincial, however, 
    was wiser than I, 
            and 
    would have everything done 
          according to their wishes, 
   that we might go in at once;
they gave us but two rooms and a kitchen. 
But a great servant of God, 
    Hernando de Matanza
   was in charge of the hospital, 
              and 
    gave us two others for a parlour, 
              and 
    was very kind to us, 
        as he is indeed to everybody, 
               and 
    does much for the poor. 
Francisco de Cuevas also 
    was kind to us; 
     he has much to do with the hospital, 
           and 
     is postmaster here; 
      he was always kind to us 
        when he had the opportunity. 
 27. Services of Catalina de Tolosa.  
27
I have given the names of those 
  who were our benefactors 
            in the beginning, 
(so) that the nuns 
         now there, 
                  and 
         those who shall come after them, 
   may, as is fitting, 
       remember them in their prayers;
They are the more bound to do so 
    for founders, 
 and, though at first 
   I did not intend, 
   neither did it enter into my mind,      [35]
      that  Catalina de Tolosa should be 
           the founder of the house
      her good life obtained it for her 
           from our Lord, 
      who so ordered matters 
           that it became impossible 
           to withhold this honour from her; 
   for, to say nothing of the purchase 
          of the house by her 
   when we had not the means 
          of doing so ourselves,
    it never can be told 
          what the shiftings of the archbishop
                    cost her, 
    for it was a very great distress to her 
          to think that the house 
                    might not be founded, 
                          and 
   she was never weary of doing us good. 
The hospital was very far from her house, 
        and
 yet she came to see us most readily 
      nearly every day, 
and sent us all we had need of; 
then people never ceased 
    from talking to her, and 
if she had not been 
    the courageous woman she is 
that talking might have put an end 
     to everything.                                   [36]
 28. Her troubles.  
28
It was a great sorrow to me 
   to see her suffering 
 for, though she for the most part 
   kept it secret, 
yet there were times 
   when she could not hide it,
 especially when they appealed 
    to her conscience, 
          which was so tender 
that, even amid the great provocations
          she received, 
   I never heard a word from her 
    by which God might be offended.       [37]
They used to say to her 
    that she was going to hell, 
and ask her 
  how she could do what she was doing 
      when she had children of her own. 
All she did was with the sanction 
   of learned men: 
if she had wished to act otherwise, 
   I would not have consented 
        for anything on earth 
   to her doing what she might not do, 
        if a thousand monasteries had been lost
                thereby : 
        much more, then, 
               would I not have consented for one. 
But, as the plan we were discussing 
   was kept secret, 
I am not surprised 
    that people thought the more about it. 
She answered every one 
   with so much prudence 
         — and she is very prudent — 
and bore it so gently 
  that it was plain 
      that God was 
         - teaching her how to be able to 
              please some 
                  and 
              endure others, and 
        - giving her courage to bear it all. 
How much greater 
       is the courage of the servants of  God 
          when they have great things to do 
   than is that of people of high descent
       if they are not His servants ! 
She, however, was without flaw in her blood,

for  she is the child of a very noble house. 
 29. The provincial leaves Burgos.  
29
I now go back to what I was saying: 
when the Father Provincial found us 
   a place where we could 
         hear Mass 
               and 
         live enclosed,
    he ventured to go to Valladolid, 
     where he had to preach, 
but in great distress 
    at not seeing in the archbishop any sign
        from which to hope
    that he would give his permission; 
and, though 
    I always spoke hopefully, 
           he could not believe, 
 and certainly 
    he had grave reasons 
           for thinking as he did, 
   which need not be told, and, 
if he had little hope, 
    his friends had less, and 
they discouraged him greatly. 
I was more at ease 
   when  I saw him gone, 
for, as I said before, 
   the greatest trouble I had, was his. 
He left instructions 
  that we were to find a house, 
in order that we might have one of our own; 
and that was very difficult, 
   for up to that time 
we had not found one for sale. 
We were now 
    a greater burden to our friends, 
especially those of the Father Provincial, 
and 
all of them agreed not to speak a word 
    to the archbishop 
till we found a house; 
he always said
 that he wished the foundation to be made 
      more than any one; 
and I believe it, 
     for he is so good a Christian 
that he would not say 
     that which is not true. 
In his conduct this did not appear, 
  for he asked for things 
which evidently were 
   beyond our power to do: 
it was a device of Satan 
   to hinder the foundation. 
But, O Lord, how plain it is 
  that Thou art mighty ! 
the very means 
  which Satan sought 
for the purpose of  hindering it 
  Thou didst employ to make it better. 
Blessed be Thou for ever ! 
 30.  Difficulties in finding a house.  

30
From the eve of S. Mathias, 
  when we came to the hospital, 
until the eve of S. Joseph, 
  we were busy in looking 
       at this house and at that; 
they had all of them so many disadvantages, 
and not one among those 
   which their owners were willing to sell 
was such as we ought to buy. 
They told me of one belonging 
   to a nobleman 
which had been for sale for some time, 
  
  and, though there were so many orders
       looking for a house, 
  it pleased God 
       that none of them liked this, 
            and
    they are all astonished at it now,
        and 
  some even are very sorry. 
One or two people had spoken to me 
    about it, 
but they who spoke ill of it 
    were so many 
that I had by this time 
    ceased to think of it, 
as if it were a house 
   that would not suit us. 
 31. A house found.  
31
One day, when the licentiate Aguiar,       [38]
   one of the friends of our father, 
         already mentioned, 
   who had been making a careful search
       everywhere for a house, 
   was telling me 
       that he had seen some, and 
       that no house fitting for us 
          could be found in the whole city, 
                
 and when I thought it impossible 
    to find any, 
 judging by what people were saying 
    to me, 
  I remembered the one  
   which I have just spoken of 
        as having been given up, 
and thought 
- that though it were as bad 
         as it was said to be, 
       it might be a refuge for us 
         in our necessity, 
             and 
 - that we might sell it later. 
I said to the licentiate Aguiar 
that he would do me a kindness 
   if he would go and look at it. 
He thought it not a bad plan; 
he had never seen the house, 
and he would go at once, 
   though it was a stormy and wretched day. 
There was a person living in it 
    who had no wish to see it sold 
 and as much of the house as he could see, 
and would not show it to him, 
but the situation itself, 
      pleased him greatly, 
and so we made up our minds 
    to treat for the purchase of it.              [39] 
 32. Treaty for it.  
32
The nobleman 
    to whom the house belonged 
           was away, 
but he had given authority to sell it
    to an ecclesiastic                                [40] 
     a servant of  God, 
     to whom His Majesty gave the desire 
           of selling it to us, 
                      and 
           to treat with us with great openness. 
 It was settled that I should go and see it.
 I was so extremely pleased with it 
 that I should have considered it cheap 
    if they had asked 
          twice as much for it, 
    as we had understood they did ; 
    and that is not saying much, 
    for two years before 
       that sum had been offered to the owner, 
    but he would not sell it then. 
Immediately, the next day, 
   the ecclesiastic came here, 
and the licentiate also, 
   who when he saw 
        that the other was satisfied 
   wished to have the matter settled at once. 
I had spoken to some of our friends, 
  and they had told me 
that if I gave what was asked 
  I should be giving five hundred ducats
     more than it was worth.
I told him of this, 
  but he thought the house cheap 
even if I gave for it the sum 
   that was asked: 
I thought so also myself, and 
that I ought not to delay, 
   for it seemed 
     as if about to be sold for nothing, 
but as the money belonged to the order 
   it gave me a scruple. 
 33. It is bought.  
33
This meeting took place before Mass 
  on the eve of the glorious S. Joseph;    [41]
I told them 
    we should meet again after Mass 
and settle the matter. 
The licentiate is a most prudent man, 
  and he saw clearly 
that, as soon as the matter began 
   to be bruited abroad, 
       either we should not be the purchasers 
                       of the house 
       or it would cost us a much larger sum: 
   so he made the ecclesiastic give
       a promise to return after mass.
 We, nuns, went 
   and commended the affair to God, 
who said to me,
    'Dost thou hold back for money ? '

   giving me to understand 
     that the house was fitted for us. 
The sisters had prayed much to S. Joseph 
   that they might have a house 
           for his feast, and, 
though they did not think 
   they could have one so soon, 
their prayer was heard: 
all urged me to settle it, 
  and so it was done, 
for the licentiate came in with a notary,
   met with at the door
           — which seemed a providence 
                      of our Lord — 
   and said to me 
that it was necessary to settle, and, 
   having brought in a witness, 
and shut the door of the room 
   that nobody might know 
              — for he was afraid of that —
      the  sale was made, 
   and could not be set aside,                   [42]
on the eve, 
                 as I said before, 
     of the glorious S. Joseph, 
 through the kind service and skillfulness 
     of this good friend. 
 34. The sale attacked.  
34.
 Nobody thought it would be sold so cheaply, 

and accordingly 
  when the news began to be spread abroad 
     purchasers began 
           to come forward, and 
           to say that the ecclesiastic 
     who had made the bargain
         had sold it at too low a price 
          — that the sale must be set aside, 
                 for it was a great fraud. 
 The good ecclesiastic had much 
    to go  through. 
Word was sent at once
    to the owners of the house, 
who were, as I said before, 
   one of the chief nobles in the place 
   and his wife; 
but they were so glad 
     that their house was to be a monastery
  that they ratified the sale on that ground, 

though by that time 
   they could not do otherwise.
 Immediately, the next day, 
   the deeds were drawn up, 
and one-third of the money was paid 
   on the demand of the ecclesiastic, 
for in some things relating to the bargain
  they were hard on us, 
and we bore everything to keep to it. 
 35. Surprise of Burgos. — 
  
35
It seems foolish for me 
   to be speaking at such great length 
of the purchase of this house, 
but the truth is 
that those who looked 
         into the matter carefully 
saw in it 
    nothing less than a miracle, 
    whether it be the price, 
             which was so small, 
     or the blindness of all the religious
             who had seen it, 
                    and 
              which hindered them 
                 from taking it: 
those who looked at the house 
    were amazed, 
as if it had not always been in Burgos, 
              and
       found fault with them and 
       called them foolish. 
There were persons there searching 
   for a house for 
       a monastery of nuns, a
                  and  
       two monasteries besides, 
           one of which had been lately founded 
      — the Other had come to the town 
                     from outside 
            because its house had 
                 been burnt down — 
      and another wealthy person intending 
         to found a monastery, 
      who had lately seen it and given it up: 
   these were all extremely sorry. 
The talking in the town was such 
   as made us see clearly 
the grave reasons the licentiate had for
       - the secrecy and 
       - the haste in which he settled the affair, 
and we can truly say that, under God,
     he gave us the house. 
A sound judgment is of great service 
    in everything, 
and, as his judgment is very sound, 
and as God had given him the will, 
   so he brought our affair to an end. 
He was for more than a month 
     helping us and 
     arranging the house 
   so as to make it suit us, 
       and at little cost. 
It seemed clear 
that our Lord had been keeping the house 
    for Himself,
 for almost everything seemed  
    to have been done for our use. 
The truth is, as soon as I saw it, 
   with everything therein 
as if prepared for us, 
   it seemed to me a dream 
             — everything was done so quickly. 
Our Lord repaid us well 
  for what we had gone through 
when He brought us into a paradise 
    — for the garden, the view, 
                and the water 
         seemed nothing else. 
May He be blessed for ever ! 
Amen. 
36. The archbishop still refuses 
            his sanction. —
36
The archbishop heard of it at once, 
  and was very glad 
     (that) we had prospered so well: 
he thought it was due to his obstinacy,  
  and he was right. 
I wrote to him to say 
  I rejoiced because he was satisfied, 
and that I would make haste 
   in arranging the house,
that he might be altogether 
     gracious unto me. 
Having said this to him, 
  I hastened into it myself, 
for I was warned 
   that they wished to detain us 
      in the hospital 
till certain deeds were completed. 
And so, 
though a man 
      who lived in the house 
   had not gone out 
          — it cost us also something
                   to get rid of him — 
  we went into a room in it.
I was told immediately 
  that the archbishop was angry thereat;
I did all I could 
    to soothe him, 
and as he is a good man, 
     even when he is angry,
 his anger passes quickly away. 
He was angry also 
when he heard 
    that we had a  grating  and a turn, 
for it made him think 
   that I wished to act 
as if free from his authority;
I wrote to him, and said 
 that I had no such wish,
 only that we had done 
what is done in the house of persons 
   who live in retirement
      — that I had not dared
               to put up even a cross, 
            lest he should think so; 
              and that was the truth. 
Notwithstanding all the goodwill 
    he professed, 
we found no way to make him willing
     to grant the license. 
 37.  More shifts of the archbishop.  
37
He came to see the house.
It pleased him much, 
and he was very gracious to us, 
  but not gracious enough 
      to give the license; 
however, he 
    gave us more hope, 
           and 
     said that some agreement was to be made 
          with Catalina de Tolosa. 
There were great fears 
   that he would not sanction it, 
but Doctor Manso, 
  the other friend of the Father Provincial, 
         of whom I have spoken, 
   was very much with him, 
   watching opportunities 
        to remind him of us 
                    and 
        to importune him; 
for it pained him much 
   to see us living as we were doing, 
because in the house itself, 
    though it had a chapel 
       which had never been used for anything 
          but for  Mass 
          when the former owners lived in it, 
       he would never allow us 
           to have Mass said, 
        but we must go out
              on festival days and Sundays 
          to hear it in a church, 
        which we were very fortunate 
           in having close by; 
      though after we had gone to our house
      until the foundation was made 
        a month went by, more or less. 
All learned men told us 
  that there were good grounds 
     for allowing Mass to be said.           [43]
The archbishop is learned enough, 
 and he saw it in the same light, 
and thus there seems to be 
    no other reason to give than this
       — that it was the good pleasure 
                of our Lord 
            we should suffer. 
    I bore it best of all myself,
       but one of the nuns 
            on finding herself in the street
         trembled through the pain it gave her, 
 38. Generosity of Catalina de Tolosa.  

38. 
We had not a little to suffer
   in drawing up the deeds, 
for at one time 
   they were satisfied with sureties, 
at another 
   they would have the money paid. 
Many other difficulties were raised. 
In this the archbishop was 
    not so much to blame: 
it was a vicar-general 
   who fought hard against us, 
and if God had not opportunely 
    sent him on a journey, 
so that the business devolved on another,
  it seemed as if the matter would never 
     be brought to an end. 
Oh, the distress of Catalina de Tolosa ! 
    that never can be told. 
She bore it all with a patience 
  that amazed me, 
and was never weary
    in making provision for us. 
All the furniture we required 
   for fitting up the house 
she gave us 
         — beds and many things besides; 
              her own house was amply provided, 
and, as to anything we might need, 
  it seemed as if we were not to be 
      in want of anything, 
though her own house might be so. 
Among those 
     who were founders of our monasteries 
  there are some 
      who gave more of their substance, 
  but there is not one 
      who had the tenth part of the trouble 
             it cost her; 
and she, if she had not had children, 
   would have given everything she had. 
She longed so earnestly 
    to see the monastery founded
 that what she did for that end 
    seemed to her as nothing. 
39. The saint applies for help 
             to the bishop of Palencia. 

39
When I saw so much delaying 
   I wrote to the bishop of Palencia, 
entreating him to write again
    to the archbishop; 
he was very much displeased with him, 
for whatever the latter did for us 
   the bishop regarded as done to himself; 
and what amazed us was, 
that the archbishop never thought 
  he was doing us the slightest wrong. 
I entreated the bishop to 
    write to him and 
     ask him to give his consent, 
now that 
     we had a house of our own, 
             and 
      everything done as he had desired. 
The bishop sent me a letter for him
                  — it was open — 
  but of such a nature 
that had we sent it on 
   we should have ruined everything; 
and accordingly Doctor Manso, 
    my confessor and adviser, 
      would not let me send the letter,
 for, though it was most courteous, 
    it contained some truths 
 which, considering the temper 
          of the archbishop, 
    were enough to make him angry
        — he was so already 
             on account of certain messages 
             the bishop had sent him; 
             they were very great friends  — 
and he said to me
that, 
    as they who were enemies before 
          were made friends 
           at the death of  our Lord, 
   so on my account 
        two friends had become enemies: 
I replied,
  that he might see by that 
     what sort of a person I was. 
40. The archbishop yields at last.  

40
I had taken especial care 
     as I thought,
 to keep them from being angry
     with one another; 
I renewed my entreaties to the bishop, 
  using the best reasons I could, 
that he would write another 
    and a very affectionate letter, 
representing to him 
   what a service to God it would be. 
He did 
   what I asked him to do, 
and it was not little: 
when he saw that his doing so 
  would be 
       a service rendered to God and 
       a kindness to me 
       — he has been always 
               so uniformly kind to me — 
  he did violence to himself, 
      and, writing to me, 
said that all he had hitherto done 
            for the order 
      was nothing in comparison 
            with that letter. 
In a word, 
it answered the purpose
    in such a way
          — Doctor Manso was pressing 
                  at the same time —                 [44]

   that the archbishop 
   - granted the license,
                and 
   - sent the good Hernando Matanza with it,
       whose pleasure in bringing it 
            was not a little. 
That day the sisters were 
        very much disheartened 
       — they had never been so before — 
and 
the good Catalina de Tolosa so much so
 that she could not be comforted: 
it seemed as if 
   our Lord would lay His hand 
       more heavily upon us 
   at the moment He was about to give us joy; 
and I, 
     who had not been without hope hitherto,  
   had none the night before. 
Blessed and praised be His Name 
     for ever, world without end ! 
Amen. 
41 . The monastery founded.  

41
Doctor Manso had leave
    from the archbishop 
  to say Mass the next day, 
         and 
  to reserve the Most Holy Sacrament
He said the first Mass
and the high Mass was sung
 by the Father Prior of S. Paul's 
   of the order of  S. Dominic,              [45] 
to which, 
      as well as the members of the society, 
   our order has always been greatly indebted. 
The Father Prior sang the Mass 
   with very solemn music played
 by men who came unasked. 
All our friends were much pleased, 
  
and so was nearly everybody in the city, 
for they were all very sorry 
   to see us in the state we were in, 
          and 
   thought so ill of the conduct 
         of the archbishop 
that I was at times more distressed 
  by what I heard people say of him 
than I was 
   at what I had to bear myself. 
The joy 
        of the good Catalina de Tolosa and 
        of  the sisters 
    was so great 
         that it kindled my devotion, 
and I said unto God, 
   ' O Lord, 
     what other aim have these thy servants 
      but that of 
            serving Thee, and 
            dwelling within a cloister, 
      for Thy sake, 
      out of which they are never to go forth.' 
42. Blessedness of a cloistered life.  

42
Nobody 
    who does not know it by experience 
  will believe the joy 
     we have in these monasteries 
      when we find ourselves 
             within the cloister 
       into which no secular persons may enter; 
for, however much we may love them, 
   that love is not strong enough 
      to take from us the great joy 
            of living alone. 
If a number of fish be taken 
    out of the river in a net 
they cannot live, 
   unless they are returned to the river. 
So, it seems to me, is it 
    with souls accustomed to live
        in the torrents of the waters 
     of their Bridegroom:
If they be drawn out therefrom 
   by the nets of the things of this world
they do not really live 
   till they are taken back again. 
I always see this in the sisters. 
I know it by experience: 
those nuns 
who are conscious of a wish 
         to go abroad among seculars, 
               or 
         to converse much with them, 
have reason to be afraid 
   - that they have never touched 
         that living water 
              of which our Lord spoke 
           to the Samaritan woman,         [46]
                       and
  -  that the Bridegroom has 
           hidden Himself from them, 
      seeing that they are not content
           to dwell alone with Him. 
I am afraid 
  that this comes from two sources: 
     - either they have not undertaken
          the religious state for Him alone, 
     - or they do not understand 
          after undertaking it 
       what a great grace God gave them 
       when He 
            chose them for Himself, 
                  and 
            rescued them 
                  from being subject to man, 
                  who very often kills their body 
            — and God grant 
                 he may not also kill their soul ! 
O my Bridegroom, 
    very God and very man ! 
Is this a grace to be lightly regarded ? 
Let us praise Him, my sisters, 
     because He hath given it unto us; 
                   and 
Let us never be weary 
   of praising our Lord and King, 
who is so mighty, and 
who has prepared a kingdom for us, 
        of which there shall be no end,
     in return for a little hardship 
         amid a thousand joys, 
     but which will end tomorrow. 
May He be blessed for ever ! 
Amen, amen.                                      [47]
43. The Saint gives up the endowment.  
43.
Some time after the house was founded, 
  it was thought 
      by the Father Provincial and myself 
that the endowment furnished 
      by Catalina de Tolosa 
   had certain inconveniences 
      which might end 
              in a lawsuit for us, 
                     and
              in some trouble for herself: 
we preferred trusting more in God,
 that we might not be the cause 
   of giving her the slightest annoyance: 
so, to save her, 
    and for some other reasons, 
we, all, before a notary 
   - renounced the property she had given us, 
      with the sanction
              of the father provincial, 
          and 
   - sent her all the deeds. 
It was done very secretly 
    lest it should come
          to the knowledge of the archbishop,
    who would consider it a wrong 
            done to himself, 
     though it was really 
            done to the monastery, 
for when it is once known of a house 
      that it is founded in poverty 
   there is nothing to be afraid of, 
      because everybody helps it, 
but when the house is known 
      to be endowed 
  there is evidently a risk, 
and it may have to remain for a time 
   without the means 
      of supplying itself with food. 
Provision for us 
   after the death of Catalina de Tolosa 
was made. 
   Two of her daughters, 
       who were to make their profession 
   this year in our monastery of Palencia,  [48] 
        had renounced their property 
               in her favour,
   should they profess 
        — this renunciation,
                    she made them annul, and 
             make another in favour of this house: 
    another daughter, 
    who wished to take the habit here, 
        gave her share 
             in her father's property and 
             in her mother's, 
       which is as much 
             as the endowment was worth: 
         the only inconvenience is 
          that the house is not yet
               in possession of it. 
 44. Her confidence.  

44
But I have always held 
  that the nuns will never be in want, 
because our Lord, 
  who sends succour 
      to monasteries dependent on alms, 
   - will raise up people to do 
           as much for this house, 
                or 
   -  will find means to maintain it. 
Though no house has been founded 
    as this was 
I have begged our Lord from time to time, 
          as it was His will
(that) the foundation should be made, 
          - to come to its relief, 
                       and 
          - supply what is necessary for it; 
nor did I wish to go away
    till I saw 
 if any came into it as nuns. 
One day, 
     thinking of this after communion, 
I heard our Lord say:
       ' Why doubt ? 
          This is now done; 
          thou mayest safely go '
          — making me to understand 
           that the nuns would never be 
                  in want of that 
           which might be necessary for them. 
 I felt 
    as if I were leaving them 
          amply endowed, 
                   and 
have never been anxious about them since. 
I began at once 
    to make arrangements for my departure, 
for I seemed 
    as if I were doing nothing more 
           in the house 
    but taking my pleasure in it, 

for it is a house I like exceedingly, 
   while elsewhere,
         though I might have more trouble, 
    I might be of more use. 
45. Reconciliation of  the two bishops.  

45
The archbishop and the bishop of Palencia
   remained very good friends, 
for the archbishop at once 
   showed himself very gracious unto us, 
and gave the habit                                [49]
     to a daughter of Catalina de Tolosa, 
              and 
     to another nun                                [50]
        who soon came in: 
and until now people have 
   never failed  to provide for us, 
   nor will our Lord 
        leave His brides to suffer 
   if they serve Him according
        to the obligations under which they lie. 
To this end may His Majesty 
   give them His grace 
out of His great compassion and goodness ! 
                                                                [51]
I. H. S. 

  Foot note [51]

  "Here ends the Book of the Foundation
    then a blank leaf; 
     after which the passage following."


46. Transfer of the jurisdiction 
          of the monastery in Avila.  
46
I have thought it right 
   to put down in this place 
 how it was
    that the nuns of S. Joseph's, Avila 
            — the first monastery
                       that was founded — 
                 the history of which foundation 
                       is written elsewhere,          [52] 
                  and not in this book, 
   came under the jurisdiction of the order;
 the house 
     from the first 
   being subject to the bishop. 
 47. Recommended by the bishop 
          of Osma. 
47
When that monastery was founded,
   the bishop was Don Alvaro de Mendoza
now the bishop of Palencia
and all the time he was in Avila 
  he was most gracious unto the nuns. 
When the monastery was placed 
   under his jurisdiction 
I understood from our Lord 
  that it was advantageous so to place it, 
and the result fully proved it; 
for in all the difficulties of the order,
   we had great help from him, 
and on many other occasions 
   we saw it plainly enough. 
He never entrusted the visitation 
           of the monastery 
     to a secular priest, 
 nor did he issue any orders 
     except those 
           which I begged of him to give. 
Seventeen years, more or less, 
    to the best of my recollection,             [53]
passed by in this way,
 nor did I ever think 
    of changing the jurisdiction. 
At the end of the seventeen years 
  the bishopric of Palencia was given 
      to the Bishop of Avila. 
I was at the time in the monastery of Toledo, 
        and our Lord said to me
    it was expedient for the nuns of S. Joseph's
       to be under the jurisdiction of the order
    — that I was to bring it about, 
         for if it were not done,
             the house would soon become lax. 
As I had understood it was right for us 
   to be under the authority of the bishop,  [54] 
I thought the locutions were 
    at variance one with another. 
I said so to my confessor 
      — it was he                                         [55]
           who is now the bishop of Osma—     
   a most learned man. 
He replied
 that it was not so in the present case, 
for what I did formerly 
    must have been necessary then, 
and that something else is necessary now. 
It is now most clear in many ways 
  that what he said was true, 
     and 
  that he saw it would be better 
         for the monastery 
    to be united with the others 
         than to stand alone. 
He made me go to Avila 
   to arrange the matter. 
 48. Consent of the bishop 
          and of the nuns. 
48. I found the bishop 
     was of a very different mind, 
              and 
     would not at all consent to the change; 
but when I told him 
    some of the reasons,  I had 
for thinking  that harm might come 
     to the nuns, 
he set himself to think them over, 
for he had a great affection for the nuns, 
                and 
   as he has a most sound understanding, 
                and 
   as God helped him, 
      his thoughts led him 
          to other reasons 
     more weighty than those I had given him, 
and he resolved to make the change:       [56] 
    though some of the clergy 
      went and told him 
             it was not expedient, 
      they did not prevail. 
It was necessary 
   to have the consent of the nuns: 
To some the change was very disagreeable,
     but, as they loved me much,
     they yielded to the reasons I gave them,  
        especially this 
             
        — that when the bishop, 
                 to whom the order owed so much
                     and 
                 whom I loved, 
              was gone, 
        they could not have me 
               any longer among them. 
This consideration had great influence 
     with them,
and so this affair, 
          of so much importance, 
   was settled. 
Since then all persons see 
    in what a sad state 
 the monastery would have been
    if the change had not been made. 
Oh, blessed be our Lord 
    who regards with so much solicitude 
       all that concerns His servants !
 May He be blessed for ever ! 
Amen. 
       END OF 
 THE BOOK OF THE FOUNDATIONS 


             End of  Chapter 31 
                     of the 
          Book of the Foundations
             of S. Teresa of Jesus 
  of the Order of our Lady of Carmel 


            _______________ 

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