of S. Teresa of Jesus
of the Order of our Lady of Carmel
CHAPTER 31 XXXI
Chapter 31 Contents
In this Chapter the Foundation
of The Glorious S. Joseph
of S. Anne
In the City of Burgos is Begun.
The First Mass is Said 19 April 1582, [1]
Octave of the Feast of the Resurrection
1. Don Alvaro de Mendoza. —
2. Delivers the pallium to
the archbishop of Burgos. —
3. Our Lord warned the Saint
of coming troubles. —
4. The Saint encouraged
supernaturally. —
5. Delay about Burgos. —
6. The archbishop delays. —
7. Catalina de Tolosa. —
8. Preparations made for Burgos. —
9. Dona Catalina obtains the consent
of the city of Burgos. —
10. The Saint's hesitation. —
11. Our Lord bids her go. —
12. Other difficulties. —
13. The provincial warns her
of troubles. —
14. The Saint sets out for Burgos. —
15. Difficulties of the road. —
16. From Palencia to Burgos. —
17. Fray Jerome. —
18. Arrival in Burgos. ^
19. The Saint ill. —
20. The archbishop makes objections. —
21. And refuses permission for Mass
to be said in the house. —
22. Hardships borne by the nuns. —
23. More difficulties. —
24. The provincial discouraged. —
25. Our Lord encourages the Saint. —
26. The nuns lodged in the hospital. —
27. Services of Catalina de Tolosa. —
28. Her troubles. —
29. The provincial leaves Burgos. —
30. Difficulties in finding a house. —
31. A house found. —
32. Treaty for it. —
33. It is bought. —
34. The sale attacked. —
35. Surprise of Burgos. —
36. The archbishop still refuses
his sanction. —
37. More shifts of the archbishop. —
38. Generosity of Catalina de Tolosa. —
39. The saint applies for help
to the bishop of Palencia. —
40. The archbishop yields at last. —
41 . The monastery founded. —
42. Blessedness of a cloistered life. —
43. The Saint gives up the endowment. —
44. Her confidence. —
45. Reconciliation of the two bishops. —
46. Transfer of the jurisdiction
of the monastery in Avila. —
47. Recommended by the bishop
of Osma.—
48. Consent of the bishop
and of the nuns.—
|
See Foot Notes for Chapter 31
in the Navigation Links Column on the right
|
CHAPTER 31
May He be praised and blessed
for ever and for evermore !
Amen. Deo gratias.
1. Don Alvaro de Mendoza.
1.
More than six years ago
certain members of the Society of Jesus,
men of
great godliness,
learning, and spirituality, and
long professed,
said to me
that it would be a great service rendered
to our Lord
if a house of this holy order
were founded in Burgos.
They gave me some reasons
in favour of it
which moved me to wish for it.
The troubles
of the order, and
of the other foundations,
left me no opportunity of making it.
When I was in Valladolid in the year 1580,
the archbishop of Burgos [2]
( Don Christobal Vela )
— the archbishopric had then
been given him —
came that way;
he had before
been Bishop of the Canaries,
and was then going to take possession.
I have already spoken
of the bishop of Palencia,
Don Alvaro de Mendoza,
who has greatly befriended the order;
he was the first to accept the monastery
of S. Joseph in Avila,
where he was bishop,
and ever since he has rendered us
many a service,
regarding the affairs of the order
as his own,
especially those
which I commended to him.
I begged him to ask the archbishop
to allow us to make
a foundation in Burgos,
and he most readily promised to ask,
for, as he thinks
our Lord is greatly honoured
in these houses,
he rejoices much
whenever a house is founded.
2. Delivers the pallium to
the archbishop of Burgos.
2.
The archbishop would not enter Valladolid,
but took up his lodging
in the monastery of S. Jerome
where the Bishop of Palencia
entertained him sumptuously,
went to dine with him,
and to give him a girdle,
or
do some ceremony or other
which was to make him bishop. [3]
He then asked permission for me
to found the monastery.
The archbishop said
he would give it with pleasure;
he had asked for one in the Canaries,
and had longed to have there
one of these monasteries,
because he knew
how much our Lord is served in them,
for he came from a place
where one had been built,
and was well acquainted with me. [4]
Accordingly the bishop told me
not to wait for the license,
- for the archbishop was very glad
to have the monastery;
and
- as the council does not say [5]
that the license is to be in writing,
but only that the bishop's consent
is to be had,
the license might be taken for granted.
3. Our Lord warned the Saint
of coming troubles. —
3.
I have spoken
of the great unwillingness I had [6]
to make any more foundations
when I was to make one before in Palencia,
for I had been very ill,
so that it was thought I could not live,
and even then I was not well.
Illnesses, however,
do not usually oppress me so much
when I see
that what I have to do
is for the service of God,
and so I do not know
whence came such unwillingness
as I felt then.
It could not have come
from my scanty means,
for I had less
when making other foundations.
I believe it came from Satan,
now that I see the results:
and so it has usually been,
for whenever I have any trouble
in making a foundation
our Lord, knowing my misery,
always helps me by words and deeds.
I have sometimes thought
that in certain foundations,
about which I had no trouble,
His Majesty never warned me at all.
It has been so in this,
for, as He knew
what I had to bear,
He began to encourage me
from the very first.
All praise be unto Him !
4. The Saint encouraged
supernaturally. —
4.
It was so here,
as in the foundation of Palencia,
already told
— for the two foundations
were arranged
at the same time —
He asked me,
as it were reproaching me,
'What was I afraid of? '
Had He ever failed me?
'I am the same:
Fail not to make
these two foundations.' [7]
As I said,
when giving an account of
the former foundation,
what courage these words gave me,
there is no reason
why I should say it over again here.
All sloth departed from me at once,
and that makes me think
that the cause of it was
neither my illness
nor my old age,
and so I began at once
to make arrangements
for both foundations,
as I said before.
It was thought better to make
the foundation of Palencia first,
because it was nearer, and
because the weather was so severe
and
Burgos so cold,
and also
because it would please the
good bishop of Palencia:
it was therefore done,
as I said before.
5. Delay about Burgos.
5.
But when I was staying in Palencia
the foundation of Soria was offered,
and I thought that,
as everything was settled in Palencia,
it would be best to go thither first,
and thence to Burgos. [8]
The bishop of Palencia thought it right,
and I begged him to do so,
to give the archbishop an account
of what was going on;
and so after I had gone to Soria
he sent the Canon Juan Alonso [9]
to the archbishop on that business alone.
The archbishop,
in a letter to me,
said with great affection
- that he desired my coming;
made arrangements with the canon
and
wrote to the bishop,
putting himself in his hands
- that he was influenced
by his knowledge of Burgos
in what he did;
- that I must come in
with the consent of the town;
in short, the conclusion was
that I was to go and treat,
in the first place,
with the city,
and
if it refused permission,
his hands could not be tied,
nor himself hindered,
from giving it;
- that he was present
when the first monastery was founded
in Avila,
and remembered the great trouble
and opposition I had to bear;
- that he wished in this way
to guard against the same thing here;
- that it would not be right
to found the monastery
unless with an endowment,
or with the consent of the city
— a condition I did not like,
and therefore he spoke of it.
6. The archbishop delays.
6.
When the archbishop said I was
to go thither
the bishop looked on the affair as settled,
and with reason;
so he sent me word
that we were to go.
But to me
there seemed a want of courage
in the archbishop,
and I wrote to thank him
for his kindness to me,
saying
that it would be worse
if the city refused its consent
than if we made the foundation
without saying anything about it,
because it would be bringing
more trouble on his Grace,
I think I saw beforehand
how little we could rely on him
if any opposition were made
to my obtaining the license;
and, besides, I looked on it
as a difficult matter
on account of the contradictory opinions
usual on such occasions. [10]
I wrote to the bishop of Palencia
entreating him
that,
as the summer was nearly over,
and
my infirmities such as to disable me
from staying in so cold a climate,
the matter might rest for the present.
He was hurt
because the archbishop made
so many difficulties
after showing
such good dispositions before,
and so I
said nothing of my suspicions,
to avoid causing disagreements
— for they are friends —
and
went from Soria to Avila,
very far from thinking at the time
that I should have to return so soon:
my going to the house
of S. Joseph in Avila
was very necessary for many reasons. [11]
7. Catalina de Tolosa.
7.
There dwelt in the city of Burgos,
a holy widow,
Catalina de Tolosa,
a Biscayan by birth,
of whose
goodness, penance, and prayer,
great alms-giving and charity,
good sense and courage,
I could speak at great length.
She had placed
two of her daughters
as nuns in the monastery
of our Lady of the Conception
in Valladolid
four years ago, I think —
and
two others in Palencia. [12]
She waited till
that house was founded,
and brought them thither
before I went away from that foundation.
8. Preparations made for Burgos.
8.
The four nuns have turned out
as the children of such a mother;
they are like angels.
She gave them
a good dowry and
everything else most abundantly,
for she herself is very wealthy;
in all her ways
she is most generous and can be so,
for she is rich.
When she came to Palencia,
we considered the archbishop's consent
so certain
that we did not think
there was any reason for delay,
and so I asked her
- to find me a house we might hire
in order to take possession,
- to set up the grating and the turn,
and
- put it to my account,
never thinking she would spend
any money of her own,
but only that she would lend it to me.
So earnestly did she desire this foundation
that she felt very much
the putting it off at that time,
and so after my departure for Avila,
as I have just said,
having no thought whatever
of making the foundation then,
she gave herself no rest,
but, thinking there was nothing more
to be done
except getting the permission of the city,
(she) began to solicit it
without saying a word to me about it.
9. Dona Catalina obtains the consent
of the city of Burgos.
9.
She had two neighbours,
persons of importance,
and
very great servants of God,
who desired the foundation greatly
— a mother and her daughter.
The mother,
Dona Maria Manrique,
had a son who was a magistrate,
Don Alonso de Santo Domingo Manrique;
[13]
the daughter was called Dona Catalina.
Those two ladies
discussed the matter with him
that he might ask the consent
of the council of the city.
He spoke to Catalina de Tolosa,
and asked her
what he was to say
about our means of subsistence,
for the council would not consent
if we had none.
She replied that she would bind herself
— and so she did —
to give us a house if we wanted one,
and
maintain us,
and thereupon presented a petition
signed with her name.
Don Alonso managed the matter
so skillfully
that he
- obtained leave from all the magistrates,
- went to the archbishop, and
showed him the permission in writing.
Immediately after she entered
on the business
she sent me word by letter
that she was arranging it.
I looked on it as something not serious,
because I knew
because I knew
what difficulties people make
about monasteries founded in poverty;
and
as I did not know,
and
as it had never entered into my mind,
that she had bound herself
as she had done,
I thought that much more was still
to be done.
10. The Saint's hesitation.
10.
However, one day
within the octave of Saint Martin,
when I was commending the matter
to our Lord,
I considered what was to be done
if the license were granted;
for, as to my going myself to Burgos,
that I looked on as impossible
because
- I was so ill,
- the place being so cold,
and
- cold being very bad for my illness;
- it would be rash to undertake
so long a journey
when I had but just made
so difficult a journey
as was that from Soria,
already mentioned;
- besides, the Father Provincial
would not let me go. [14]
I thought the prioress of Palencia [15]
might do as well,
for as everything was settled
there would be nothing for her to do.
11. Our Lord bids her go.
11.
While I was thinking thus,
and greatly bent on not going,
our Lord spoke these words to me,
which showed me
that permission had been given: —
'Do not mind the cold:
I am the true warmth:
Satan is exerting all his strength
to hinder the foundation:
Do thou
exert thine on My behalf
that it may be made,
and
go thyself without fail,
for the fruits of it will be great,'
Thereupon, I changed my mind:
Though nature sometimes rebels
when I have difficult things to do,
my resolution to suffer for God,
who is so great,
never wavers,
and so, I ask Him
not to regard those feelings of weakness,
but to bid me do
whatever is pleasing to Himself,
for I shall not fail to do it
by the help of His grace.
The snow was then on the ground,
but what most disheartened me
was my wretched health,
for had I been well,
I believe I should have thought
nothing of the journey.
It was my want of health
that most frequently wearied me
while making this foundation;
the cold was nothing
— at least, I did not feel it —
certainly not more, I think,
than I did in Toledo.
What our Lord said to me
He amply fulfilled.
12. Other difficulties.
12.
There was a delay of a few days
in bringing me the license,
with letters from
Catalina de Tolosa and her friend,
Dona Catalina
pressing me to make haste;
they feared some disaster,
for the order of Minims [16]
had come to make a foundation there,
and the Carmelites of the mitigation
also had been there for some time
labouring for a like end.
Afterwards came the monks of S. Basil [17]
which might have been a hindrance:
It was
- a matter of wonder
that so many came
at the same time with us,
and
- a reason also for giving thanks to our Lord
for the great charity of the place,
seeing that the city gave its permission
most willingly,
though it was not now so prosperous
as it had been.
I had always heard people praise
the charitableness of the city,
but I never thought it was so great.
Some helped one order, some another;
but the archbishop,
thinking of all the difficulties
that might arise,
forbade it,
for he considered
that a new house would be a wrong
done to the orders founded in poverty,
in that they would not be able
to maintain themselves;
and perhaps
these had applied to him themselves,
or
it may be that the devil suggested it
in order to do away with the good
which God works
wherever many monasteries are built,
for He is able to maintain many
as easily as few.
13. The provincial warns her
of troubles.
13.
This was the reason
why those saintly ladies pressed me
so earnestly:
if I had had my will
I should have set out at once,
but as it was,
I had matters to attend to,
for I considered
that I was more bound
not to miss an opportunity myself
than they were
whom I saw taking so much pains.
I understood by the words I had heard [18]
that there was much opposition
— from whom or whence
it was to come
I knew not,
because Catalina de Tolosa
had already written to me to say
- that she had the house
in which she lived
secured for the purpose
of taking possession,
- that the city had consented,
and
- the archbishop also:
I could not imagine
from whom this opposition was to come
which the devils were to raise,
yet for all this
I never doubted
that the words I had heard
were the words of God.
In short,
His Majesty gives to superiors
greater light,
for when I wrote to the Father Provincial
about my going,
because I knew I was to do so,
he did not hinder me,
but he asked me if I had
the license of the archbishop in writing.
I answered
that they had written to me from Burgos
saying
- that they had arranged with him,
- that the consent of the city
had been asked and obtained,
and
- that the archbishop was satisfied with it:
this, together with all he had said
about the matter,
seemed to leave no room for doubt.
14. The Saint sets out for Burgos.
14.
The Father Provincial would go with us [19]
to make the foundation,
- partly because
he was then to be at leisure,
for he had just finished preaching
in Advent, and
had to so to Soria to make a visitation
— he had not seen that monastery
since it was founded,
and it was not much
out of his road —
and
- partly that he might look
after my health on the journey,
because the weather was so severe
and I so old and sickly,
and
because my life was thought
to be of some importance.
It was certainly a providence of God,
for the roads were in such a state
— deep under water —
that it was highly necessary
for him and his companions
to go on before to see
where we could pass,
and
to help to drag the carriages
out of the mud,
especially on the road
from Palencia to Burgos.
It was an act of great hardihood for us
to set out from the former place
when we did.
15. Difficulties of the road.
15.
The truth is,
our Lord had said to me
that we might go on safely
— not to be afraid —
for He would be with us.
This, however,
I did not make known
to the Father Provincial,
but it was a comfort a
amidst the great difficulties and dangers
of the road,
especially in one spot near Burgos
called the Floating Bridges;
there the waters had risen so high,
and for some time,
that we could
not see the road
nor know where to go to:
there was nothing but water,
and on either side of us exceedingly deep.
In short,
it is an act of great rashness
to travel that way,
especially with carriages,
which if they swerved but a little
would be all lost,
and accordingly
we saw one of them in danger.
16. From Palencia to Burgos.
16.
From a miserable inn on the road,
we took a guide
who knew the passage;
it certainly was a very dangerous one.
Then, the lodgings we found !
for it was impossible to make
the usual day's journey
because of the state of the roads;
the carriages continually sunk
deep into the mire,
and the mules had to be taken
out of one carriage
to drag out the other.
The fathers
who were with us
had much to suffer,
for we happened to have drivers
who were young and very careless.
It was a great relief
that we were travelling
with the Father Provincial,
for he
- took care of everything,
and
- is of so even a temper
that all that happened seemed
not to trouble him at all,
and so he made light of that
which was great,
so that it seemed to be nothing
— not so however,
at the Floating Bridges,
for he was then not without fear,
for when I saw ourselves go
into a world of water
without a way or a boat,
notwithstanding the encouragement
of our Lord
I was not without fear myself:
What, then,
must my companions have felt ? [20]
We were eight on the road:
two were to return with me,
five to remain in Burgos
— four choir and one lay sister. [21]
17. Fray Jerome.
17.
I do not think I have yet mentioned
the name of the father provincial; [22]
He is Fray Jerome Gratian
of the Mother of God,
of whom I have spoken in other places.
I was myself suffering
from a very severe sore throat,
which I caught
on the road to Valladolid,
nor had the fever left me,
and as the pain therefrom was great,
it hindered me from feeling much
the incidents of the journey.
I have that sore throat even now
at the end of June, [23]
and, though it is not nearly so sharp
as it was,
it is still very painful.
The nuns were all happy,
for once the danger passed
it was a pleasure to speak of it.
It is a grand thing
to suffer under obedience,
especially for those who live under it
so continually as these nuns do.
18. Arrival in Burgos.
18.
We reached Burgos
by this dangerous road,
through the deep waters there
before the entrance of the city.
Our father would have us go
first of all
to visit the Miraculous Crucifix, [24]
to recommend to Him our business,
and
wait there till night came on,
for it was still early.
We arrived on
Friday, 26th January,
the day after the feast
of the Conversion of Saint Paul.
Our intention was
to make the foundation at once,
and I had with me many letters
from the Canon Salinas [25]
— he is spoken of
in the history
of the foundation of Palencia,
where his labours in our behalf
were not less
than they were here —
and
from persons of consideration
urging
their relatives and others, their friends,
most earnestly to befriend us in our work:
they did so,
for immediately, the next day,
they came to see me,
and in the city
they were not sorry for the promise
they had made,
but
- were glad that I had come,
and
- I was to consider wherein
they could be of service to me.
If we had any fears at all,
they arose from our doubts about the city,
now we found everything smooth;
and before any could know of our coming
— for there was no going
to the house
of the good Catalina de Tolosa
in that very heavy rain —
we intended to inform the archbishop of it,
that we might have
the first Mass said at once,
as in almost all places;
but it was not done
on account of the weather.
19. The Saint ill.
19.
We rested that night in great comfort
furnished us by that saintly woman;
nevertheless it brought suffering to me,
for there was a great fire made for us
to dry ourselves at,
which, though in a chimney,
did me so much harm
that I could not raise my head
the next day;
I had therefore to lie down
when speaking to those
who came to see me
through a window with a grating,
over which we drew a curtain; [26]
and as it was a day
in which I was obliged
to settle many matters,
it was very painful to me.
Early in the morning
the Father Provincial went to his Grace
to ask his blessing,
for we thought that was all we had to do.
He found him changed,
and angry at my coming
without his leave,
as if he had never sent for me
or meddled at all in the matter;
and accordingly he spoke
to the Father Provincial
in great wrath against me.
Then,
admitting that he had sent for me,
he said he meant
I was to come alone
to arrange the affair with him;
but to come with so many nuns,
God deliver us from the annoyance
it gave him !
To tell him
- that we had already arranged
with the city,
as he had asked us to do;
- that there was nothing more
to be done
but to make the foundation ;
and
- that the bishop of Palencia,
when I asked him
if I should do right in going
[without informing his Grace] [27]
had told me
it was not necessary to do so,
because he wished the foundation
to be made —
was all to no purpose whatever.
The matter stood thus,
and
God willed the foundation of the house,
and
the archbishop, himself, said so afterwards,
for if we had plainly told him
(that) we were coming
he would have forbidden us to come.
Thereupon,
he dismissed the Father Provincial,
telling him
that unless we
- were endowed and
- had a house of our own
he never would give his consent:
we might as well return:
the roads were so good and
the weather so fine !
20. The archbishop makes objections.
20.
O my Lord, how true it is
that he
who shall render Thee a service
is immediately rewarded by a great cross!
And what a priceless reward it is
if they who truly love Thee,
only knew its value at the time !
But we did not then desire the reward,
because it seemed
to make the foundation altogether impossible,
for the archbishop said besides,
that
the endowment and
the house we were to buy
were not to be taken out of any dowry
the nuns might bring with them.
Then,
as we were not thinking of that
in times like the present,
it became clear enough
that we were helpless:
Not so to me, however,
for I always felt assured
- that all this was for the best
— a plot of Satan
to hinder the foundation —
and
- that God would prosper His work.
Herewith came away the Provincial
very joyous,
for he was not troubled in the least at it:
God so ordained it
that he might not be vexed with me
because I had not obtained the license
in writing,
as he had told me to do. [28]
21. And refuses permission for Mass
to be said in the house.
21.
There were then with me
some of the friends
to whom the Canon Salinas had written,
as I said before;
and they resolved,
his kinsmen agreeing with them,
that the archbishop should be asked
to give permission
for the celebration of Mass in the house,
that we might not have to go
out into the streets,
which were very dirty:
it was not seemly
that we should go out,
being barefooted.
There was a suitable room in the house
which had been
the church of the Society of Jesus
when they came to Burgos,
and
which they used for more than ten n years;
we therefore saw nothing unseemly
in taking possession there
till we had a house of our own.
We were never able to persuade him
to let us hear Mass therein,
though two canons went to him
to beg for leave.
All that we got from him was,
that an endowment being assured
the foundation might be made there
till we bought a house,
and
to obtain this
we were to give security
for the purchase of a house,
and
we were not to leave the place
we were in.
22. Hardships borne by the nuns.
22.
The sureties we found at once,
for the friends of the canon Salinas
offered themselves,
and
Catalina de Tolosa offered an endowment.
Meanwhile, in discussing
how much it was to be,
and
in what way it was to be secured,
more than three weeks must have gone by,
and
we not hearing Mass
except on holy days
very early in the morning,
myself in a fever and very ill.
Catalina de Tolosa, however,
was so kind to us,
and
took such care of me,
and
fed us the whole of that month
as cheerfully as if she had been
the mother of every one of us,
in a part of the house
where we lived by ourselves.
The Father Provincial and his companions
were lodged in the house
of a friend of his [29]
— they had been at college together —
The Doctor Manso, [30]
canon-preacher in the cathedral;
he was excessively harassed
by his detention there so long,
and
yet could not see his way to leave us.
23. More difficulties.
23.
When the sureties had been found
and the endowment settled,
the archbishop told us
to give the papers to the vicar-general,
and then
everything would be settled immediately.
Satan
— it must have been so —
did not fail to run to him also,
for after along consideration of the matter,
when we were thinking
that there could be no grounds
for further delay,
and
when a month had been spent
in persuading the archbishop
to be pleased with what we were doing,
the vicar-general sent me a note
in which he said
- that the license would not be granted
till we had a house of our own;
- that the archbishop now did not like us
to make the foundation
in the house we were staying in,
because
it was damp
and
in a street that was very noisy;
and then,
- as for the security of the endowment,
I know not
what difficulties and objections he made,
as if the matter were then discussed
for the first time;
- that there must be no further debate,
and
- the archbishop must be pleased
with the house.
24. The Provincial discouraged.
24.
When the Father Provincial heard of it
he was greatly moved
— so were we all —
for plainly much time is necessary
for buying a place for a monastery;
it distressed him to see us
go out of the house for mass,
for though
the church was not far off,
and
we heard it in a chapel therein
unseen of all,
yet for the Father Provincial and ourselves
it was a very great burden.
Then it was, I think,
he made up his mind
that we must go away.
I could not bear to do that:
When I remembered
what our Lord had said to me, [31]
that I was to make this foundation for Him,
I was so confident it would be made
that scarcely anything vexed me;
but I
was in distress
about the Father Provincial,
and
was very sorry
he had come with us,
not knowing at the time
how much his friends were to do for us,
as I shall tell by and by.
25. Our Lord encourages the Saint.
25.
When I was in this distress,
which pressed heavily
on my companions also,
though I did not concern myself
about them,
but only about the Provincial,
our Lord
— I was not in prayer —
said to me these words, [32]
' Now, Teresa, be strong . '
Thereupon with great earnestness,
I begged the Father Provincial
to go away and leave us.
And His Majesty must have brought him
to this,
for Lent was nigh at hand,
and he was obliged to go and preach. [33]
26. The nuns lodged in the hospital.
26.
He and his friends contrived
to have rooms assigned us
in the hospital of the Conception; [34]
the Most Holy Sacrament was there,
and
Mass was said every day.
This gave him some pleasure,
but he had not a little to go through
in getting it for us,
for the one good room there
had been taken by a widow in the town,
who
not only would not lend it to us,
though she was not going into it
for the next half-year,
but was angry
because they had given us
certain rooms in the upper part
of the hospital under the roof,
one of them forming a passage
into her room.
She was not satisfied
with locking it
on the outside,
but must have bars put across it
on the inside.
Besides, the brethren thought
we were to make the hospital our own
— an impracticable imagination,
but God would have us merit more thereby;
they made us promise,
the Father Provincial and myself,
before a notary,
that we would,
on being told to quit the place,
do so at once.
This was the hardest thing for me,
for I was afraid
(that) the widow,
who
was wealthy
and
had relatives there,
would,
whenever she took a fancy to do so,
compel us to go away.
The Father Provincial, however,
was wiser than I,
and
would have everything done
according to their wishes,
that we might go in at once;
they gave us but two rooms and a kitchen.
But a great servant of God,
Hernando de Matanza,
was in charge of the hospital,
and
gave us two others for a parlour,
and
was very kind to us,
as he is indeed to everybody,
and
does much for the poor.
Francisco de Cuevas also
was kind to us;
he has much to do with the hospital,
and
is postmaster here;
he was always kind to us
when he had the opportunity.
27. Services of Catalina de Tolosa.
27.
I have given the names of those
who were our benefactors
in the beginning,
(so) that the nuns
now there,
and
those who shall come after them,
may, as is fitting,
remember them in their prayers;
They are the more bound to do so
for founders,
and, though at first
I did not intend,
neither did it enter into my mind, [35]
that Catalina de Tolosa should be
the founder of the house,
her good life obtained it for her
from our Lord,
who so ordered matters
that it became impossible
to withhold this honour from her;
for, to say nothing of the purchase
of the house by her
when we had not the means
of doing so ourselves,
it never can be told
what the shiftings of the archbishop
cost her,
for it was a very great distress to her
to think that the house
might not be founded,
and
she was never weary of doing us good.
The hospital was very far from her house,
and
yet she came to see us most readily
nearly every day,
and sent us all we had need of;
then people never ceased
from talking to her, and
if she had not been
the courageous woman she is
that talking might have put an end
to everything. [36]
28. Her troubles.
28.
It was a great sorrow to me
to see her suffering
for, though she for the most part
kept it secret,
yet there were times
when she could not hide it,
especially when they appealed
to her conscience,
which was so tender
that, even amid the great provocations
she received,
I never heard a word from her
by which God might be offended. [37]
They used to say to her
that she was going to hell,
and ask her
how she could do what she was doing
when she had children of her own.
All she did was with the sanction
of learned men:
if she had wished to act otherwise,
I would not have consented
for anything on earth
to her doing what she might not do,
if a thousand monasteries had been lost
thereby :
much more, then,
would I not have consented for one.
But, as the plan we were discussing
was kept secret,
I am not surprised
that people thought the more about it.
She answered every one
with so much prudence
— and she is very prudent —
and bore it so gently
that it was plain
that God was
- teaching her how to be able to
please some
and
endure others, and
- giving her courage to bear it all.
How much greater
is the courage of the servants of God
when they have great things to do
than is that of people of high descent
if they are not His servants !
She, however, was without flaw in her blood,
for she is the child of a very noble house.
for she is the child of a very noble house.
29. The provincial leaves Burgos.
29.
I now go back to what I was saying:
when the Father Provincial found us
a place where we could
hear Mass
and
live enclosed,
he ventured to go to Valladolid,
where he had to preach,
but in great distress
at not seeing in the archbishop any sign
from which to hope
that he would give his permission;
and, though
I always spoke hopefully,
he could not believe,
and certainly
he had grave reasons
for thinking as he did,
which need not be told, and,
if he had little hope,
his friends had less, and
they discouraged him greatly.
I was more at ease
when I saw him gone,
for, as I said before,
the greatest trouble I had, was his.
He left instructions
that we were to find a house,
in order that we might have one of our own;
and that was very difficult,
for up to that time
we had not found one for sale.
We were now
a greater burden to our friends,
especially those of the Father Provincial,
and
all of them agreed not to speak a word
to the archbishop
till we found a house;
he always said
that he wished the foundation to be made
more than any one;
and I believe it,
for he is so good a Christian
that he would not say
that which is not true.
In his conduct this did not appear,
for he asked for things
which evidently were
beyond our power to do:
it was a device of Satan
to hinder the foundation.
But, O Lord, how plain it is
that Thou art mighty !
the very means
which Satan sought
for the purpose of hindering it
Thou didst employ to make it better.
Blessed be Thou for ever !
30. Difficulties in finding a house.
30.
From the eve of S. Mathias,
when we came to the hospital,
until the eve of S. Joseph,
we were busy in looking
at this house and at that;
they had all of them so many disadvantages,
and not one among those
which their owners were willing to sell
was such as we ought to buy.
They told me of one belonging
to a nobleman
which had been for sale for some time,
and, though there were so many orders
looking for a house,
it pleased God
that none of them liked this,
and
they are all astonished at it now,
and
some even are very sorry.
One or two people had spoken to me
about it,
but they who spoke ill of it
were so many
that I had by this time
ceased to think of it,
as if it were a house
that would not suit us.
31. A house found.
31.
One day, when the licentiate Aguiar, [38]
one of the friends of our father,
already mentioned,
who had been making a careful search
everywhere for a house,
was telling me
that he had seen some, and
that no house fitting for us
could be found in the whole city,
and when I thought it impossible
to find any,
judging by what people were saying
to me,
I remembered the one
which I have just spoken of
as having been given up,
and thought
- that though it were as bad
as it was said to be,
it might be a refuge for us
in our necessity,
and
- that we might sell it later.
I said to the licentiate Aguiar
that he would do me a kindness
if he would go and look at it.
He thought it not a bad plan;
he had never seen the house,
and he would go at once,
though it was a stormy and wretched day.
There was a person living in it
who had no wish to see it sold
and as much of the house as he could see,
and would not show it to him,
but the situation itself,
pleased him greatly,
and so we made up our minds
to treat for the purchase of it. [39]
32. Treaty for it.
32.
The nobleman
to whom the house belonged
was away,
but he had given authority to sell it
to an ecclesiastic [40]
a servant of God,
to whom His Majesty gave the desire
of selling it to us,
and
to treat with us with great openness.
It was settled that I should go and see it.
I was so extremely pleased with it
that I should have considered it cheap
if they had asked
twice as much for it,
as we had understood they did ;
and that is not saying much,
for two years before
that sum had been offered to the owner,
but he would not sell it then.
Immediately, the next day,
the ecclesiastic came here,
and the licentiate also,
who when he saw
that the other was satisfied
wished to have the matter settled at once.
I had spoken to some of our friends,
and they had told me
that if I gave what was asked
I should be giving five hundred ducats
more than it was worth.
I told him of this,
but he thought the house cheap
even if I gave for it the sum
that was asked:
I thought so also myself, and
that I ought not to delay,
for it seemed
as if about to be sold for nothing,
but as the money belonged to the order
it gave me a scruple.
33. It is bought.
33.
This meeting took place before Mass
on the eve of the glorious S. Joseph; [41]
I told them
we should meet again after Mass
and settle the matter.
The licentiate is a most prudent man,
and he saw clearly
that, as soon as the matter began
to be bruited abroad,
either we should not be the purchasers
of the house
or it would cost us a much larger sum:
so he made the ecclesiastic give
a promise to return after mass.
We, nuns, went
and commended the affair to God,
who said to me,
'Dost thou hold back for money ? '
giving me to understand
that the house was fitted for us.
The sisters had prayed much to S. Joseph
that they might have a house
for his feast, and,
though they did not think
they could have one so soon,
their prayer was heard:
all urged me to settle it,
and so it was done,
for the licentiate came in with a notary,
met with at the door
— which seemed a providence
of our Lord —
and said to me
that it was necessary to settle, and,
having brought in a witness,
and shut the door of the room
that nobody might know
— for he was afraid of that —
the sale was made,
and could not be set aside, [42]
on the eve,
as I said before,
of the glorious S. Joseph,
through the kind service and skillfulness
of this good friend.
34. The sale attacked.
34.
Nobody thought it would be sold so cheaply,
and accordingly
and accordingly
when the news began to be spread abroad
purchasers began
to come forward, and
to say that the ecclesiastic
who had made the bargain
had sold it at too low a price
— that the sale must be set aside,
for it was a great fraud.
The good ecclesiastic had much
to go through.
Word was sent at once
to the owners of the house,
who were, as I said before,
one of the chief nobles in the place
and his wife;
but they were so glad
that their house was to be a monastery
that they ratified the sale on that ground,
though by that time
though by that time
they could not do otherwise.
Immediately, the next day,
the deeds were drawn up,
and one-third of the money was paid
on the demand of the ecclesiastic,
for in some things relating to the bargain
they were hard on us,
and we bore everything to keep to it.
35. Surprise of Burgos. —
35.
It seems foolish for me
to be speaking at such great length
of the purchase of this house,
but the truth is
that those who looked
into the matter carefully
saw in it
nothing less than a miracle,
whether it be the price,
which was so small,
or the blindness of all the religious
who had seen it,
and
which hindered them
from taking it:
those who looked at the house
were amazed,
as if it had not always been in Burgos,
and
found fault with them and
called them foolish.
There were persons there searching
for a house for
a monastery of nuns, a
and
two monasteries besides,
one of which had been lately founded
— the Other had come to the town
from outside
because its house had
been burnt down —
and another wealthy person intending
to found a monastery,
who had lately seen it and given it up:
these were all extremely sorry.
The talking in the town was such
as made us see clearly
the grave reasons the licentiate had for
- the secrecy and
- the haste in which he settled the affair,
and we can truly say that, under God,
he gave us the house.
A sound judgment is of great service
in everything,
and, as his judgment is very sound,
and as God had given him the will,
so he brought our affair to an end.
He was for more than a month
helping us and
arranging the house
so as to make it suit us,
and at little cost.
It seemed clear
that our Lord had been keeping the house
for Himself,
for almost everything seemed
to have been done for our use.
The truth is, as soon as I saw it,
with everything therein
as if prepared for us,
it seemed to me a dream
— everything was done so quickly.
Our Lord repaid us well
for what we had gone through
when He brought us into a paradise
— for the garden, the view,
and the water
seemed nothing else.
May He be blessed for ever !
Amen.
36. The archbishop still refuses
his sanction. —
36.
The archbishop heard of it at once,
and was very glad
(that) we had prospered so well:
he thought it was due to his obstinacy,
and he was right.
I wrote to him to say
I rejoiced because he was satisfied,
and that I would make haste
in arranging the house,
that he might be altogether
gracious unto me.
Having said this to him,
I hastened into it myself,
for I was warned
that they wished to detain us
in the hospital
till certain deeds were completed.
And so,
though a man
who lived in the house
had not gone out
— it cost us also something
to get rid of him —
we went into a room in it.
I was told immediately
that the archbishop was angry thereat;
I did all I could
to soothe him,
and as he is a good man,
even when he is angry,
his anger passes quickly away.
He was angry also
when he heard
that we had a grating and a turn,
for it made him think
that I wished to act
as if free from his authority;
I wrote to him, and said
that I had no such wish,
only that we had done
what is done in the house of persons
who live in retirement
— that I had not dared
to put up even a cross,
lest he should think so;
and that was the truth.
Notwithstanding all the goodwill
he professed,
we found no way to make him willing
to grant the license.
37. More shifts of the archbishop.
37.
He came to see the house.
It pleased him much,
and he was very gracious to us,
but not gracious enough
to give the license;
however, he
gave us more hope,
and
said that some agreement was to be made
with Catalina de Tolosa.
There were great fears
that he would not sanction it,
but Doctor Manso,
the other friend of the Father Provincial,
of whom I have spoken,
was very much with him,
watching opportunities
to remind him of us
and
to importune him;
for it pained him much
to see us living as we were doing,
because in the house itself,
though it had a chapel
which had never been used for anything
but for Mass
when the former owners lived in it,
he would never allow us
to have Mass said,
but we must go out
on festival days and Sundays
to hear it in a church,
which we were very fortunate
in having close by;
though after we had gone to our house
until the foundation was made
a month went by, more or less.
All learned men told us
that there were good grounds
for allowing Mass to be said. [43]
The archbishop is learned enough,
and he saw it in the same light,
and thus there seems to be
no other reason to give than this
— that it was the good pleasure
of our Lord
we should suffer.
I bore it best of all myself,
but one of the nuns
on finding herself in the street
trembled through the pain it gave her,
38. Generosity of Catalina de Tolosa.
38.
We had not a little to suffer
in drawing up the deeds,
for at one time
they were satisfied with sureties,
at another
they would have the money paid.
Many other difficulties were raised.
In this the archbishop was
not so much to blame:
it was a vicar-general
who fought hard against us,
and if God had not opportunely
sent him on a journey,
so that the business devolved on another,
it seemed as if the matter would never
be brought to an end.
Oh, the distress of Catalina de Tolosa !
that never can be told.
She bore it all with a patience
that amazed me,
and was never weary
in making provision for us.
All the furniture we required
for fitting up the house
she gave us
— beds and many things besides;
her own house was amply provided,
and, as to anything we might need,
it seemed as if we were not to be
in want of anything,
though her own house might be so.
Among those
who were founders of our monasteries
there are some
who gave more of their substance,
but there is not one
who had the tenth part of the trouble
it cost her;
and she, if she had not had children,
would have given everything she had.
She longed so earnestly
to see the monastery founded
that what she did for that end
seemed to her as nothing.
39. The saint applies for help
to the bishop of Palencia.
39.
When I saw so much delaying
I wrote to the bishop of Palencia,
entreating him to write again
to the archbishop;
he was very much displeased with him,
for whatever the latter did for us
the bishop regarded as done to himself;
and what amazed us was,
that the archbishop never thought
he was doing us the slightest wrong.
I entreated the bishop to
write to him and
ask him to give his consent,
now that
we had a house of our own,
and
everything done as he had desired.
The bishop sent me a letter for him
— it was open —
but of such a nature
that had we sent it on
we should have ruined everything;
and accordingly Doctor Manso,
my confessor and adviser,
would not let me send the letter,
for, though it was most courteous,
it contained some truths
which, considering the temper
of the archbishop,
were enough to make him angry
— he was so already
on account of certain messages
the bishop had sent him;
they were very great friends —
and he said to me
that,
as they who were enemies before
were made friends
at the death of our Lord,
so on my account
two friends had become enemies:
I replied,
that he might see by that
what sort of a person I was.
40. The archbishop yields at last.
40.
I had taken especial care
as I thought,
to keep them from being angry
with one another;
I renewed my entreaties to the bishop,
using the best reasons I could,
that he would write another
and a very affectionate letter,
representing to him
what a service to God it would be.
He did
what I asked him to do,
and it was not little:
when he saw that his doing so
would be
a service rendered to God and
a kindness to me
— he has been always
so uniformly kind to me —
he did violence to himself,
and, writing to me,
said that all he had hitherto done
for the order
was nothing in comparison
with that letter.
In a word,
it answered the purpose
in such a way
— Doctor Manso was pressing
at the same time — [44]
that the archbishop
- granted the license,
and
- sent the good Hernando Matanza with it,
whose pleasure in bringing it
was not a little.
That day the sisters were
very much disheartened
— they had never been so before —
and
the good Catalina de Tolosa so much so
that she could not be comforted:
it seemed as if
our Lord would lay His hand
more heavily upon us
at the moment He was about to give us joy;
and I,
who had not been without hope hitherto,
had none the night before.
Blessed and praised be His Name
for ever, world without end !
Amen.
41 . The monastery founded.
41.
Doctor Manso had leave
from the archbishop
to say Mass the next day,
and
to reserve the Most Holy Sacrament.
He said the first Mass,
and the high Mass was sung
by the Father Prior of S. Paul's
of the order of S. Dominic, [45]
to which,
as well as the members of the society,
our order has always been greatly indebted.
The Father Prior sang the Mass
with very solemn music played
by men who came unasked.
All our friends were much pleased,
and so was nearly everybody in the city,
for they were all very sorry
to see us in the state we were in,
and
thought so ill of the conduct
of the archbishop
that I was at times more distressed
by what I heard people say of him
than I was
at what I had to bear myself.
The joy
of the good Catalina de Tolosa and
of the sisters
was so great
that it kindled my devotion,
and I said unto God,
' O Lord,
what other aim have these thy servants
but that of
serving Thee, and
dwelling within a cloister,
for Thy sake,
out of which they are never to go forth.'
42. Blessedness of a cloistered life.
42.
Nobody
who does not know it by experience
will believe the joy
we have in these monasteries
when we find ourselves
within the cloister
into which no secular persons may enter;
for, however much we may love them,
that love is not strong enough
to take from us the great joy
of living alone.
If a number of fish be taken
out of the river in a net
they cannot live,
unless they are returned to the river.
So, it seems to me, is it
with souls accustomed to live
in the torrents of the waters
of their Bridegroom:
If they be drawn out therefrom
by the nets of the things of this world
they do not really live
till they are taken back again.
I always see this in the sisters.
I know it by experience:
those nuns
who are conscious of a wish
to go abroad among seculars,
or
to converse much with them,
have reason to be afraid
- that they have never touched
that living water
of which our Lord spoke
to the Samaritan woman, [46]
and
- that the Bridegroom has
hidden Himself from them,
seeing that they are not content
to dwell alone with Him.
I am afraid
that this comes from two sources:
- either they have not undertaken
the religious state for Him alone,
- or they do not understand
after undertaking it
what a great grace God gave them
when He
chose them for Himself,
and
rescued them
from being subject to man,
who very often kills their body
— and God grant
he may not also kill their soul !
O my Bridegroom,
very God and very man !
Is this a grace to be lightly regarded ?
Let us praise Him, my sisters,
because He hath given it unto us;
and
Let us never be weary
of praising our Lord and King,
who is so mighty, and
who has prepared a kingdom for us,
of which there shall be no end,
in return for a little hardship
amid a thousand joys,
but which will end tomorrow.
May He be blessed for ever !
Amen, amen. [47]
43. The Saint gives up the endowment.
43.
Some time after the house was founded,
it was thought
by the Father Provincial and myself
that the endowment furnished
by Catalina de Tolosa
had certain inconveniences
which might end
in a lawsuit for us,
and
in some trouble for herself:
we preferred trusting more in God,
that we might not be the cause
of giving her the slightest annoyance:
so, to save her,
and for some other reasons,
we, all, before a notary
- renounced the property she had given us,
with the sanction
of the father provincial,
and
- sent her all the deeds.
It was done very secretly
lest it should come
to the knowledge of the archbishop,
who would consider it a wrong
done to himself,
though it was really
done to the monastery,
for when it is once known of a house
that it is founded in poverty
there is nothing to be afraid of,
because everybody helps it,
but when the house is known
to be endowed
there is evidently a risk,
and it may have to remain for a time
without the means
of supplying itself with food.
Provision for us
after the death of Catalina de Tolosa
was made.
Two of her daughters,
who were to make their profession
this year in our monastery of Palencia, [48]
had renounced their property
in her favour,
should they profess
— this renunciation,
she made them annul, and
make another in favour of this house:
another daughter,
who wished to take the habit here,
gave her share
in her father's property and
in her mother's,
which is as much
as the endowment was worth:
the only inconvenience is
that the house is not yet
in possession of it.
44. Her confidence.
44.
But I have always held
that the nuns will never be in want,
because our Lord,
who sends succour
to monasteries dependent on alms,
- will raise up people to do
as much for this house,
or
- will find means to maintain it.
Though no house has been founded
as this was
I have begged our Lord from time to time,
as it was His will
(that) the foundation should be made,
- to come to its relief,
and
- supply what is necessary for it;
nor did I wish to go away
till I saw
if any came into it as nuns.
if any came into it as nuns.
One day,
thinking of this after communion,
I heard our Lord say:
' Why doubt ?
This is now done;
thou mayest safely go '
— making me to understand
that the nuns would never be
in want of that
which might be necessary for them.
I felt
as if I were leaving them
amply endowed,
and
have never been anxious about them since.
I began at once
to make arrangements for my departure,
for I seemed
as if I were doing nothing more
in the house
but taking my pleasure in it,
for it is a house I like exceedingly,
while elsewhere,
though I might have more trouble,
I might be of more use.
45. Reconciliation of the two bishops.
45.
The archbishop and the bishop of Palencia
remained very good friends,
for the archbishop at once
showed himself very gracious unto us,
and gave the habit [49]
to a daughter of Catalina de Tolosa,
and
to another nun [50]
who soon came in:
and until now people have
never failed to provide for us,
nor will our Lord
leave His brides to suffer
if they serve Him according
to the obligations under which they lie.
To this end may His Majesty
give them His grace
out of His great compassion and goodness !
[51]
I. H. S.
Foot note [51]
"Here ends the Book of the Foundation
then a blank leaf;
after which the passage following."
|
46. Transfer of the jurisdiction
of the monastery in Avila.
46.
I have thought it right
to put down in this place
how it was
that the nuns of S. Joseph's, Avila
— the first monastery
that was founded —
the history of which foundation
is written elsewhere, [52]
and not in this book,
came under the jurisdiction of the order;
the house
from the first
being subject to the bishop.
47. Recommended by the bishop
of Osma.
47.
When that monastery was founded,
the bishop was Don Alvaro de Mendoza,
now the bishop of Palencia;
and all the time he was in Avila
he was most gracious unto the nuns.
When the monastery was placed
under his jurisdiction
I understood from our Lord
that it was advantageous so to place it,
and the result fully proved it;
for in all the difficulties of the order,
we had great help from him,
and on many other occasions
we saw it plainly enough.
He never entrusted the visitation
of the monastery
to a secular priest,
nor did he issue any orders
except those
which I begged of him to give.
Seventeen years, more or less,
to the best of my recollection, [53]
passed by in this way,
nor did I ever think
of changing the jurisdiction.
At the end of the seventeen years
the bishopric of Palencia was given
to the Bishop of Avila.
I was at the time in the monastery of Toledo,
and our Lord said to me
it was expedient for the nuns of S. Joseph's
to be under the jurisdiction of the order
— that I was to bring it about,
for if it were not done,
the house would soon become lax.
As I had understood it was right for us
to be under the authority of the bishop, [54]
I thought the locutions were
at variance one with another.
I said so to my confessor
— it was he [55]
who is now the bishop of Osma—
a most learned man.
He replied
that it was not so in the present case,
for what I did formerly
must have been necessary then,
and that something else is necessary now.
It is now most clear in many ways
that what he said was true,
and
that he saw it would be better
for the monastery
to be united with the others
than to stand alone.
He made me go to Avila
to arrange the matter.
48. Consent of the bishop
and of the nuns.
48. I found the bishop
was of a very different mind,
and
would not at all consent to the change;
but when I told him
some of the reasons, I had
for thinking that harm might come
to the nuns,
he set himself to think them over,
for he had a great affection for the nuns,
and
as he has a most sound understanding,
and
as God helped him,
his thoughts led him
to other reasons
more weighty than those I had given him,
and he resolved to make the change: [56]
though some of the clergy
went and told him
it was not expedient,
they did not prevail.
It was necessary
to have the consent of the nuns:
To some the change was very disagreeable,
but, as they loved me much,
they yielded to the reasons I gave them,
especially this
— that when the bishop,
to whom the order owed so much
and
whom I loved,
was gone,
they could not have me
any longer among them.
This consideration had great influence
with them,
and so this affair,
of so much importance,
was settled.
Since then all persons see
in what a sad state
the monastery would have been
if the change had not been made.
Oh, blessed be our Lord
who regards with so much solicitude
all that concerns His servants !
May He be blessed for ever !
Amen.
END OF
THE BOOK OF THE FOUNDATIONS
End of Chapter 31
of the
Book of the Foundations
of S. Teresa of Jesus
of the Order of our Lady of Carmel
|
_______________
| See Foot Notes for Chapter 31 in the Navigation Links Column on the right |
